Trying To Cheat Fate
by xiiao
Summary: When you're an fallen angel, how can you get up? With help, maybe it's possible. When something happens to Mei, is it possible for Syao to help her through her own living nightmare? ( COMPLETE )
1. Something Wrong

Trying To Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao-chan  
  
Author's Note (VERY IMPORTANT TO READ!):  
  
Oh my gosh.. I've been wanting to type this one story up for so long that I was thinking about it all day and night and thinking about what it would be like in the beginning.. Well, I thought it would make a good sequel to "Red Silk", but I REALLY COULD NOT WAIT THAT LONG TO WRITE THIS FICCIE! So. I changed everything around a little.. For one: Syaoran and Meiling are nineteen (very mature.. I liked em mature.. ^^), they aren't married (Hey, lets throw away the original plot!), and sakura and tomoyo never exsisted (HEY LETS THROW THEM OUT, TOO :D), live in Hong Kong (own house, WOO HOO), and they're personalities are very very unlike the real CC or CCS. heehee.. you'll see..  
  
I don't own CCS, no sue.   
  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO FLAMES WILL BE TAKEN BECAUSE NO ONE LIKES FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
.. Although, kind reviews would be.. very very nice.. :D  
  
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Chapter One.  
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The delicate figure of a nineteen year old female had collapsed onto the blankets and pillows of her and her fiancee's bed. Over thrown with suprise, shock, and depression she couldn't help but curl herself into a ball, letting tears gently and silently fall down from her eyes. The door of the bedroom had been cracked open, but yet no one had been home to see the young girl crying.  
  
She pulled her right hand up from around her knees and pulled the raven black tresses out of her face and gently used the end of her fingertips to softly push the tears from her eyes, attempting at the same time to calm herself down. The last thing she needed was for her fiancee to come home and find his girl crying in their bed for a reason that was unknown to everyone but herself.  
  
No luck seemed to be held between the grasps of the girl's fingers: the one boy she least wanted to see at this time had just entered the front door of their house. She sighed deeply in responce to the door shutting and wipped her eyes again, uncurling herself from her ball like shape and grabbing a book from the nightstand. It would be best if he never knew what happened till she was ready to tell him.  
  
"Meiling?" That voice struck her hard and suddenly she knew it would be harder to talk to him now then it had ever been in her whole life: but she couldn't not tell him; she'd just tell him when she was ready to tell him. For now it was time to act like her normal self.  
  
"I'm in here, Syaoran," his name came out awkwardly and she knew that he would guess something was wrong in an instant when he saw her. He could read her feelings, it was like she was a book, and he was the only one that could read her.  
  
He stopped at the doorway starring at Meiling's deep ruiby eyes, and blinked, raising his eyebrow slightly. "Is something wrong?" Exactly what she knew he would do--read her, but she wished he hadn't done so. She couldn't lie, but then again she couldn't tell him what was wrong.  
  
"No, of course not, Syaoran, I'm fine," she smiled a cheerful smile and closed her book, placing it back on the nightstand and forcing her body to sit up straight, letting her feet dangle from the edge. The boy took one more long look at her.  
  
"All right, if you say so," he knew better than to think his Meiling was lying, and she thanked the heavens for earning his trust like she did. She smiled as she watched him exit from the doorway and her smiled slowly faded as she heard his foot steps dim when he walked down the hallway. One side of her yearned for him to ask why she was so upset, so depressive looking, while the other side was celebrating his trust in her, and not asking what was wrong--she hadn't decided which side would conquer.  
  
Despite the depression running through her veins and her need to crawl into a hole and cry for all eternity, she had decided it would been good for her body if she got out of the house, pephaps a walk down the street would cure her mind of the thoughts that had been drowning her. She stood up and slowly walked to the doorway, which led to the hallway, and then left walking down the hallway, some what enjoying the sound of her shoes tapping against the soft carpet. She had made it to the room which held the door to the outside world when she felt two arms slowly wrapping around her thin waist, stopping her from escape. The sudden touch made her jump from being starteled but quick enough she felt as if she was melting in his grasp, and only one person could do that to her; Syaoran.  
  
"Syaoran," she whispered, feeling like she was falling back into a dream world, but quickly snapped out of it. "I'm going for a walk outside," she looked up to him and smiled. She hated the thought of inviting him to go with her, she needed the time alone to fix what was going through her mind. "Want to come with me?" So why had she invited him? Syaoran shook his head slightly and Meiling sighed fakly. His grasp slowly loosened and then slid back to himself.  
  
"I'll be making dinner, Mei," another need to melt. Mei. She loved that name. Mei; it was his petname for her and she loved to hear him call her that. It seemed like he was trying to pull her secret out of her, but he would fail until she felt the need to tell him; either that or when his need to know was too strong to fight against. She nodded and quickly embraced him, then walking out of the house and took in a deep breath. This was what she needed, fresh air.  
  
----------  
  
He slowly looked out the window at the girl's figure. Meiling had seemed quite weird, and he had known something was wrong right when he heard her respond to his call of her name, but he just couldn't quite put his finger on it yet. He sighed deeply as he saw the girl's smile disapear and her pace slow when she had reached the sidewalk. Struck with the urge to run outside, hug her tightly and whisper words to her to try and get the secret out he walked to the door, setting his had on the handle but stopping. He couldn't do that to her, no matter how much he wanted to know what was going on in her life he couldn't just do that, he would wait.. Maybe he would try to get it to slip out of her.  
  
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After Note:  
  
Well.. Have I struck you with a need to find out what is wrong with Meiling? So.. what did he do to upset her so much that she won't even tell? did you like the change of personality and the jolt of romance? (I DID. Heehee.. I crave romance..) I know it was short but hopefully that won't stop you from reading more of it.. Maybe you'll figure out what's wrong, I don't know..   
  
As I said before !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!NO FLAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please be a nice reader and review kindly.. ^^ 


	2. Hiccup

Trying To Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Welcome back. I'm Xiao.. Again no flames. I changed the personalities a lot so  
don't think I'm a bad author for it.. it would work out better if they didn't have their usual  
personalities.. What I said last chapter continues with this chapter.. I changed the whole  
plot.. blah blah.. Here we go, AND WE'RE OFF..  
  
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Chapter Two: Hiccup.  
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Silence. The only sound that could be heard in that room was the light awkward  
sound of chopsticks and glasses moving from place to place. Infact, everything about this  
dinner was awkward. No talking, most unlike the usual chatter the filled the room as they  
ate their dinner each night. Smiles, no not right now, more like concerned looks.  
  
Finally a sound instead of chopsticks or glasses, Syaoran's chair moving across the  
floor. He had finished his dinner and took the plate to the sink and washed it, then turning  
to Meiling. She wished he wouldn't look at her like that.. Such a look of need. She hated  
it.  
  
"Meiling?" Soft and understanding, something she could deal with. She finished  
her chewing before turning her attention to Syaoran. She smiled slightly. "You have been  
acting differently today, why?" Why? Because she was--  
  
"I'm tired that's all," He blinked, he had been expecting another excuse that would  
fit the situation better, or something would actually sound a bit real. I'm tired; he knew it  
was a lie. She never lied to him, so why would she now?  
  
"All right," he paused and walked over to her, placing a gently kiss upon her  
cheek before looking her deep ruby eyes. "I'll be in the bedroom. If you need me, call  
me," he kissed her gently again, this time the destination of the kiss was on her lips. She  
needed to melt again but refused the urge. She felt gently, and warm air blow against her  
as his voice spoke up again in the tone of a whisper into her ear. "I love you," he grinned  
and stood back in his place. Meiling repeated what he had just said to her, but to him  
while he moved away and down the hallway to their bedroom.  
  
Meiling looked back down at her plate of food. She had finally lost her appetite.  
She pushed the plate away from herself and laid her head back against the wood table and  
sighed, pulling the black strands from her face.  
  
Decisions.. Decisions.. To tell or not to tell, that is the question.  
  
She stood up and brought the plate to the sink, not bothering to wash away what  
was left, she left it there and walked down the hallway. The need to run to their bedroom  
was strong and she thought about it for a moment, but she didn't do it. She finally reached  
the bedroom to find the lights off, the shades closed and only allowing a certain amount  
of light escape into the darkness, and Syaoran, laying on his side, not facing her, on his  
side of the bed.  
  
"Syaoran," her voice was shaky and there was a hint of a scared nineteen year old  
girl under the rest. She couldn't hold back any longer, she wasn't ready to tell him, but she  
couldn't wait any longer and she needed to get the news off of her. Tears escaped from  
her eyes, when Syaoran turned and sat up, looking at her and blinking, a bit confused.  
  
"What's wrong, Mei--" he was interrupted by Meiling tackling herself against him,  
forcing Syaoran back to his laying position. Her head had been placed on his chest, the  
rest of her body next to him. His girl then broke down, literally. Crying heavily and trying  
to speak, trying to say his name, but finding it impossible. This was exactly what Syaoran  
had been dreading.. He wanted to know, but he didn't want her to cry and try to tell him at  
the same time. He ran his fingers through the raven black tresses gently, trying his very  
best to calm the girl down.  
  
"Syaoran," that name came out of the girls mouth through hiccups from crying so  
hard. He blinked and looked at her, into the tear filled eyes. Meiling then continued,  
trying her best to sound as calm as possible, like her situation was nothing to her. But can  
that's a lie, it was a big deal for her and him, but mostly her. WHY DID THIS HAVE TO  
HAPPEN TO HER? "I need to," hiccup. "tell you," hiccup. "some--" hiccup. "thing very  
important," hiccup. Syaoran held back laughs. He nodded and regained his concerned  
face. She shut her eyes and slightly burying her face in his shirt. "I," hiccup. "I mean, you  
remember a," hiccup. "while back?" Syaoran nodded, knowing she couldn't see him do  
so. Now, everything was being put together in his mind, like a puzzle.. he knew what was  
coming next-- "I'm," hiccup. Here it comes.. "pregnant," hiccup, hiccup, sob.  
  
"Wait, Meiling, your kidding.." his voice trailed off. He knew she wasn't kidding,  
she wouldn't kid about something like that. A sudden jolt of happiness rushed through  
him, as his arms wrapped around her and held her close while she sobbed quietly,  
dampening his shirt now. "I'm a father.. Mei, your a mother!" She sobbed louder and  
Syaoran blinked.  
  
"I DON'T WANT TO BE A MOTHER, SYAORAN," she became hysterical now.  
She seemed like a baby who needed it's bottle. "I can't, Syaoran, I really can't," Syaoran  
held her closer to himself, as if she was a baby, a baby girl.. Why was he suddenly  
thinking of his Meiling as a baby.. No, she was just his girl, his girl.  
  
"Why, Mei?"  
  
"I'm nineteen, I'm not going to be a mother when I'm nineteen, Syaoran.." Oh god,  
why did she have to have a point? They were still young.. still wild and young. WHY  
DID THEY HAVE TO DO THAT EARLIER? He couldn't even remember what had  
happened.. maybe he was drunk.  
  
"I don't want this baby."  
  
"Did you see the doctor already?"  
  
"I did and I," she turned her thoughts around to hate.. Wasn't this his fault? Wasn't  
he the one who started this all? She wanted to hate him for it, because in her eyes he  
brought his baby into her life.. their life.. but this was her problem, right? "Syaoran, my  
god, why?!" Syaoran was startled by the sudden scream. He went through his mind for an  
explanation..  
  
"I'm sorry, Meiling," his happiness was now drowned in Meiling's mixture of hate  
and depression. He felt terrible. And the question still remained: why? Another thought:  
He wanted to be a father for a long time, and they were nineteen, but did the age matter?  
Was Meiling never wanting the responsibility of being a mother? He never asked her  
that.. ever..  
  
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After Note:  
  
Heyo. Enjoy? Confessions are upsetting, I think.. Please be a kind little reader and review  
my fiction? No flames. I hat flames. I'll die or go hysterical if I get flames, so no flames.. 


	3. A Midnight Flashback

Trying To Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao-chan  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Konnichi'wa everyone.. I've got serious warnings now.. swear. I had to change the rating to 'R' for those who knew it was 'PG-13' before because of the flashback.. Be warned THE flashback is a scene from.. *that* but there'll be nothing REALLY bad.. Everyone needs to read chapter's two and three before this one..  
  
Wow.. this is a first, never wrote anything LIKE this.. X_X; i can't believe i accually attempted it? I don't know.. But it's cool. xD Not many dare to do this on fiction.net between Syaoran and Meiling.. :X ahaha.. I'm so special.  
  
By the way, SPEED is a game of cards.. you try to play all your cards before the other person does and then you say "speed" and you win.. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE DRUG, PEOPLES.  
  
No flames, thanks.  
  
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Chapter Three: A Midnight Flashback.  
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Syaoran looked down at the now figure of Meiling. The girl had finally found the need for sleep in her and she slowly had stopped crying and talking and her eyes had closed, gently going to her dream land away from this world. He finally found the courage to gently slide him of off her and into her place in their bed.  
  
He sighed when he looked at the clock, it was late, nearly midnight and how he could have stayed up so long was a mystery, but he had managed it. He rubbed his eyes and took in a deep breath before standing and exiting the bedroom, leaving Meiling there.  
  
Faded tap, silence, faded tap. His feet going against the carpet was the only noise that was invading their house. He had made it to the kitchen, grabbing a glass and filling it with water before sitting at the table. He felt dizzy and sick and depressed. Why did he do it? Why..  
  
His eyes slowly glanced around the dark room, he needed to do something. He needed to get up and move, maybe it'd make me a bit sleepy. Standing and beginning to walk at a slow pace he brought himself to the door, then outside, walking down the abandoned sidewalk.  
  
"Syaoran, you're an idiot," he heard himself talking to himself, and stopped. Still, that question he hated most was running through his mind. "Why did you do this to her? She wasn't ready, and you knew she wasn't ready, even if she didn't resist. You're a stupid jerk."  
  
-----Flashback.-----  
  
After those few glasses of alcohol that Syaoran had consumed he was completely.. well.. different. Why had he been drinking? Simple, Meiling and himself were playing a game of cards, speed.. everytime they lost they drank a glass. Fortunetly or unfortunately he had lost a few times, while Meiling had only consumed barely a glass, and a bit of another just for fun.  
  
The two were now sitting on the couch, Meiling cuddled against his body, while his arm wrapped around her. He was ignoring what was on the TV and had eyes focused on Meiling. Her, just the thought of Meiling right now made him want her more then usual, something that was hard to resist.  
  
He couldn't give in to his desire, but he could do something besides that. He tilted her head gently and kissed her deeply, she didn't resist. Slowly his tongue made his way into her mouth and the whole kiss had vanished, now it was a French kiss, something they barely ever did.  
  
While the whole thing had been going on, he slowly could feel him giving up, and gently pushing her against the fabric on the couch. He was feeling.. playful, maybe it wasn't the alcohol that was doing this to him now.  
  
He broke it, scooping her in his arms and bringing her down the hallway, which felt like one hundred miles in length, to their bedroom, laying her against the comforter. Getting near to her once again and placing their lips together, then deepening it into another French kiss. His finger slowly played with the end of her shirt, every so often gently running a finger against the bare rim of skin that came after the shirt and before the skirt.  
  
Again he broke it, part of the reason was to catch a breath but most reason to change position of where the next one would be planted. He moved to the neck, gently kissing her there, Meiling's eyes slowly shutting from the soft warmth of it. Syaoran's hand finally moving from their boundary of the end of her shirt, to up the side of her stomach to the strap of her bra, his arm slowly moving the shirt up while doing so. The sudden placement of his hand sent a shiver up her spine, her eyes finally opened scanning herself and him..  
  
-----End Flashback.-----  
  
Syaoran had found himself leaning against the tree at the park, his arms crossed over his chest. He sighed slightly and lowered his head so his eyes would focus on the grass around him.  
  
"Idiot. Syaoran Li, Li Xiaolang, why did you DO that to her? Why did you have to be playing that game, and drinking. Damn it, you're so stupid to do this.. Why couldn't you of just stayed on that couch and just kissed her like you always do? MY GOD, SYAORAN.. You're a complete idiot, didn't you think of what was going to happen? About what would happen to HER?"  
  
-----Flashback.-----  
  
Maybe it was that gently warm breathe going against his neck that pushed him further. His hand had slipped back out from his shirt, and began to unbutton the top of her shirt. He was kind of happy that she wore a shirt that buttoned in the front, so he could just slip it off, if it went that far.  
  
One.  
  
Meiling seemed to be getting the picture, and maybe she was stalling. She waited for him to look at her, then pushed their lips together, kissing. Syaoran let his hands free from her shirt and ran one hand through her raven black hair, while her hand did the same, but to him. That kiss lasted only five seconds when counted slowly, then Syaoran resumed to his task, Meiling looking at him. He stopped.  
  
Two. "Mei?" The thought of the alcohol doing this to him had been reduced to nothing.. He knew this was him doing it. Meiling's ruby eyes locked with his. "Are you all right?"  
  
-----End Flashback.-----  
  
Maybe he didn't hear her response, or ignored it. He strained his mind to remember. He could see the one sentence running through his mind, but he wasn't sure if that was what she had said.. "I'm fine, Syaoran."  
  
He sighed once again and looked up at the leaves and branches above him.  
  
-----Flashback.-----  
  
"I'm fine, Syaoran," he took one more look into her eyes and then continued, finishing three, four, then five buttons. Finished. His eyes scanned her upper body, she had what seemed to be like a perfect figure. Meiling grinned lightly.  
  
He pulled his own shirt over his head and threw it to the side, laying down next to her, her back to his chest, and pulling an arm around her. She closed her eyes, while Syaoran whispered slightly in her ear. She could feel his fingers slowly going online the rim of her bra, but it didn't make her feel the least bit uncomfortable.  
  
"It's like a dream," he sighed lightly, silence struck through the room for a few minutes. After maybe five minutes Syaoran moved back to the top of her, kissing her deeply once again.  
  
-----End Flashback.-----  
  
Syaoran took a glance at his watch, it had been almost an hour, and he was beginning to feel sleepy. He sighed and began to move slowly back to his house, trying to break the movie of flashbacks from his mind. It just seemed almost impossible.  
  
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Meiling could feel herself being gently being dropped back into that horrible world everyone had called "reality". Oh, how she longed to stay in her own world, full of dreams, and she held the future in her hands in that world. If only she could have stayed there forever, and forget reality and what was going on through her life right now. But, to her displeasure that would never happen and she knew it.  
  
Slowly her eyes opened to face contact with the pitch black room. So dark, like her eyes were shut, like someone had painted their room completely with the darkest colour of black that they could find.  
  
Only a few seconds and her worst nightmate ran into her mind. Pregnancy. Not wanting her own baby. Was this her fault, or was this hit fault? She turned to the side of the bed where Syaoran usually slept and felt for his body, there was none. Obviously he had gone somewhere, but where she didn't know. All she knew was that she was alone in the darkness at the moment.  
  
"It wasn't his fault, Meiling. You got yourself into this. YOU didn't HESITATE when he was ON you. Now why? Because, Meiling, you liked it. YOU had no mind to think that THAT would get YOU PREGNANT. It was your choice, and you went along with it. You could have stopped him when he was at the buttons of your shirt, Meiling."  
  
-----Flashback.-----  
  
The kiss lasted longer then Meiling had expected, and she found her finger slowly fiddling with the button of his pants, eventually bringing it off it's hold, but leaving the zipper in place. She had been hopping that he got the idea.  
  
He did. Once Meiling's hand had slipped away from the button from his pants, she could instantly feel his touch running gently along the outside end of her leg and to the end of her skirt. He hesitated, then turned back to run his fingers back up, but on the inside of the leg, again stopping at the end of her skirt.  
He then moved down again.  
  
She broke the kiss and looked at him in the eyes. He blinked. She then felt that slow sound of a zipper. The zipper on the side of her skirt, slowly going down.. She didn't stop him. Once the zipper was down, she could feel him playfully tugging at the end, slowly bringing her almost naked. She began to feel cold till he began to kiss her again on the right side of her neck. Again his fingers danced along her leg.. up.. up.. to the rim of her underwear, his fingers then sliding gently underneath it.. She didn't resist, still..  
  
-----End Flashback.-----  
  
"Meiling?" The sudden voice of him made her break from the flashback, and pull herself back down under the covers. Her eyes had been focusing on the figure at the doorway, straining to see him, but only making out the outline of the young man.  
  
"Syaoran?" She could hear his foot steps moving toward their bed, then slowly sliding in next to her. The next moment she felt her back pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped around her, fingers playing with her hair. Again, she wanted to melt but resisted, which led to the need to sleep.. "Where were you?"  
  
"I needed to get some fresh air, nothing important, Mei," she let herself relax in his hold, but quickly stopped herself when feeling him gently press his lips against her neck. A kiss. She didn't want anything to happen, so pulled him gently off her, turning to look at him.  
  
"Please.. don't, Syaoran," though she couldn't see the look in his face she knew he was frowning, feeling bad for letting himself do that one sign of affection against her neck.  
  
"..All right, sorry," there was another hint of disappointment in his voice when he spoke. The whole tone didn't sound anything like him.  
  
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After Note:  
  
Well, everyone? I hope you enjoyed that scene of "R".. Was is rated correctly? I hope so.. I didn't want to over or under rate it. So, was that good enough? Did you all enjoy it? I hope you did because I'm still in disbelief that I accually wrote something like that.. I guess I needed to do something diffrent than what I usually wrote, and something diffrent that the usual romance in card captor sakura.  
  
So, please, be a nice fan / reader and review kindly! No flames, I hate flames, I don't need flames, they're terrible. Thanks again. Chapter 4'll be up soon. 


	4. Silver

Trying To Cheat Fate.  
By: Xiao-chan  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Hey-o everyone! How are you all doing so far? Do you like my fiction? I really.. really hope so, because so far, this is coming out as my best fiction.. Maybe.. just maybe I'll change the names and some of the plot and submit it to a book company? I doubt it. Heehee. Nothing really big today, but it might confuse you on why meiling does what she does.. I'll explain at the after note, all right? No flames!  
  
NO FLAMES.. I don't own CCS.  
  
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Chapter Four: Silver.  
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Slowly the pitch black room began to fill back up with the usual shine of morning. Meiling had tossed onto her side, away from Syaoran and the window, pulling the comforter over her head. A gently moan escaped her lips as she felt herself again being dropped back into her horrible reality.  
  
Letting her eyes flutter open slowly, she turned and looked for Syaoran's figure. There was none. She blinked and layed back on her back, closing her eyes and sighing deeply in displeasure. She only hoped that last night she hadn't hurt his feelings as to the point where he didn't even want to be around her.  
  
"Morning, Mei," his voice had gone back to the comforting and loving voice she had known to love for years, she let her body relax for a second, sighing in relief. "Sleep well?" Techincally, Meiling never slept well after finding out her latest change in fate, but she didn't want to worry him more. Her head slowly nodded with the comforter. Syaoran's laugh rang in her ears. "Good. Now, Mrs. Li I have a question to ask you," she nodded again. "Would you like to go to breakfeast this morning?" Her nodding paused. Breakfeast? Somewhere outside the house? Tempting..  
  
"Sure, Syaoran. Love to!" Those two sentences seemed how she wanted them to sound; cheerful, happy, like she was when she was younger. Maybe she was happy right now, maybe just a tad bit because Syaoran wasn't worrying and she wasn't pushing him away from her.  
  
"All right, come and get me when your ready," His footsteps faded, and gently meiling pulled the covers from her head, and stood up.  
  
----------  
  
His eyes seem to brighten slightly in a mixture of happiness and suprise. Meiling actually looked a bit normal, she didn't seem one bit depressed. Maybe, just maybe, she was slowly coming back to her normal life, away from the depression of her latest note of pregnancy.  
  
The red no sleeved shirt held a rectangle like opening around her neck. The darkened blue jean skirt started after the red shirt and ended about five to seven inches from her knees. A pair of black sandles, showing her toes had been placed upon her feet. Her raven black tresses, which usually were held in place by her eleven year old style of two buns placed on top of her head, tied in ribbon, had been let down, the strands of silkened hair falling a few inches above her waist. She looked so.. so.. good, so beautiful it seemed almost impossible to put it into words.  
  
"M-meiling, you look.." his voice trailed off, trying to find a word to describe her. "So, Mei, you look so.. beautiful," Meiling smiled slightly and walked over to him, placing her arms around him in a tight embrace. She seemed so normal in so little time, yet he couldn't help but embrace back, happily.  
  
She could feel a rush of heat go to her face. She was blushing. Meiling let her arms slowly loosen from around him and wrap around his arm. "Syaoran, can we walk to the place?" The whole fact of Meiling going to normal caused Syaoran to be a bit suspicious, but he nodded slightly, forcing a slight smile to his face. It was a good thing that the place was close, in walking distance.  
  
----------  
  
"I'm going to go to the bathroom before we leave, all right, Syaoran?" Meiling stood up, pushing her chair slightly into the table. Syaoran nodded, while Meiling made her way down to the bathroom. She found herself slightly shaking, and once making it into the bathroom, she was glad to find that no one else was in there.  
  
Her hand slowly wrapped around the handle which turned the water on in the sink, and pulled slightly, letting warm water fall down in to her other hand. She closed her eyes and splashed it in her face, then looking at herself in the mirror. She blinked and repeated, then finally drying her face, and taking one more glance at herself. Perfectly normal.  
  
She sighed deeply in displeasure and walked out of the room. She was beginning to feel a bit sick. By the time she reached the table where Syaoran and herself had eaten breakfeast, the table had been cleaned and Syaoran had paid for it, and he was waiting for her. Smiling a fake smile, she wrapped her arm around his they left.  
  
Finally, the moment she had been dreading had finally got to it's destination. "Uh, Meiling?" His voice eas shaky. She looked up to him and blinked. "Are.. you feeling okay?" His eyes suddenly shot down to her stomach. She blinked again and looked down, skipping her stomach, to her feet.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine," No accually she wasn't okay, she was feeling sick. She didn't want to lie to him, but she didn't want him worrying over her. Anyway, she had something planned today and she wanted to make him happy right now.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I'm positive, Syaoran."  
  
----------  
  
Meiling had been sitting in the front room, a book placed infront of her eyes. She seemed to have been placed in another dream world that exsisted when she was awake, not when she was sleeping. She began to turn the page when the paper slowly cut her finger, giving her a papercut. She looked at her finger, it wasn't bleeded, so she would be all right. Ignoring it, she continued to read.  
  
"I'm going to go out and get something, Meiling," Syaoran said walking to the door. He stopped next to her, and bent down, kissing her gently on her cheek. "Love you," she grinned as he walked off. Once the slam of the door had paused she turned and looked out the window. Syaoran was walking to his car.. Time to do something.  
  
Meiling jumped off of the couch and ran to the kitchen. "Get this over with now, Meiling, while he's gone." She began to rummage, still talking to herself. She felt a small tear run down her cheek, but ignored it. "I love you, Syaoran, but I just can't have this baby," She finally placed her hand over a handle and pulled out a small knife. The silver looked so clean and easy to use...  
  
"I never wanted this baby, so I won't have to have it," she sighed slightly, and looked at the silver of the blade, seeing her reflection. "I never wanted to be a mother, and it's never going to be a concern anymore," she brought the blade to her wrist and began to place gently pressue against it. "But, I love you, Syaoran, and this wasn't your fault.." She pushed harder and finally felt the sharpness of it, and saw a very thin line of blood--  
  
SLAM. "I forgot my--" Syaoran stopped quickly, staring at her. To her displeasure, the knife and her had been facing him, her eyes suddenly turned to his. She pulled the knife away, and held her wrist, which she had just cut.  
  
"I.. I.. I dropped.. it.. and," Syaoran ran over to her, gently grabbing the wrist she had cut, his grip slowly forcing it to release a bit more of blood. He looked at her.  
  
"Meiling..." His voice trailed off, and Meiling could sense the concern in his voice, she looked at her wrist and felt more tears began to fall from her eyes. So close to finishing this off, yet so far. Why did her life have to be so horrible? Why did it all happen to her? Why?  
  
Because she chose to not hesitate. Now all she wanted to do was cheat her fate, and ruin in her life, and kill herself with a silver blade from the kitchen. She wanted suicide, she wanted to get away from her life, but not from Syaoran.. It was impossible.  
  
"Why did you do this, Meiling?" He suddenly felt her body press against his, her crying hysterically finally.  
  
"I'm.. so sorry, Syaoran, I'm sorry, please forgive me, I'm sorry.. Syaoran," he wrapped his arms around her as she cried. "I can't take this, Syaoran, I don't want to have this life. Why did he have to happen to me? Why not no one? Why am I pregnant. Syaoran, I really.. I can't, I'm sorry.."  
  
"It's okay, Meiling," he began to whisper in her eye in a gentle and comforting way. He could see her wrist and the blood on it. If he had brought his keys to the car, she would of.. died some way or the other. Thank god she was alive right now..  
  
But if he was going to help her, he was going to have to tighten his trust for her, and maybe talk to her doctor..  
  
"It's okay, you'll be all right, I promise, Meiling," he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.  
  
But to tell the truth, he felt like he couldn't trust her anymore, like Meiling was a completely diffrent person, someone he never accually known. He didn't know how to help her.. But he needed to, before she did kill herself over her baby.  
  
----------  
  
After Note:  
  
A shock? Maybe? So.. I hope it is, and I'm planning some good chapters ahead if you liked these so far. Again, I would enjoy it if you guys used no flames in the reviews and that you would be a kind reviewer and say nice things or something.  
  
Chapter five'll be up sometime? 


	5. A Fallen Angel

Trying To Cheat Fate.  
By: Xiao-chan  
  
Author's Note:  
  
YAY. Trying to cheat fate is coming a success! I'm so happy about that.. heehee, and for that I've been typing a lot for each chapter each night (if it's possible.) and today on chapter five I have something else for you all at the end of the fiction, a poem I think fits Meiling very well and how she feels in this fiction, and how she feels toward Syaoran as well.  
  
About chapter four, I forgot to say why she was going to commit suicide. So, here is another after note from Chapter four:  
  
After Note (Another one from chapter four.):  
You guys may be asking why Meiling would actually try to commit suicide over her baby. Why not abortion? It's actually simple if you read the text very closely. In the text I had meiling said she never wanted to be a mom. SHE NEVER WANTED TO BE A MOM. Understand? Good.. Anyway, as I was saying she doesn't want an abortion because that'll kill the baby and then the chance of becoming pregnant is still a concern in the future. BUT SHE NEVER WANTED TO BE A MOM. So, the solution? Kill herself and the baby so it won't be a concern. Think about it, everyone.  
  
----------  
Chapter Five: A Fallen Angel.  
----------  
  
"Are you going to be all right, Meiling?" He could feel her breathing slowly falling down to quick and quiet gasps for air. Nearly thirty minutes of standing in the kitchen, holding Meiling while she hysterically confessed seemed to help the nineteen year old female calm down, while the other one tried to figure everything out.  
  
"Syaoran, do I look like I'll be ALL RIGHT?" She had a point, too, after watching her try to commit suicide and ruin her, his, and the baby's life, how could he trust her? For all he knew, if he let her out of his sight for twetny minutes she WOULD commit suicide. Exactly opposite of what Syaoran wanted.  
  
He could feel his legs began to feel limp and brought her over to the couch, sitting, while she still had been laying against him. He had ended up holding her like a baby in her lap, her head laying against his chest. Even with the placement of her body on his and the comforting Meiling continued to act almost normal. Most unlike the new depressive struck one he was learning to deal with.  
  
Slowly her voice began to speak softly. It was like a melody, singing gently to him and her. So pure, so..indescribably beautiful in it's own way, even if she was talking and not singing it sounded like she was singing softly, something Syaoran had grown to love. A voice of an angel, it was a trait of Meiling, something you didn't hear from anyone else. "Syaoran, what I don't understand is," the long pause seemed to be a melody in it's own way anyway. "why you've just been there for me?" That question, seemed quite easy to answer in his mind, but to a suicidal nineteen year old pregnant female, he could understand why she asked it.   
  
He pulled her left hand up and gently kissed the ring finger. "When I asked you to marry me, Mei, it was like a promise to me. Like I already said "I do,". It was a promise to be there for you when you needed me to the most, like now, to love and cherish you. I'm keeping the promise, and I'm planning on never ever breaking what I promised you. When I said "will you marry me?" and you said yes it was like me giving you all my love. I don't know if that exactly makes sense, but.."  
  
Meiling turned his head to where her ruby eyes met his and smiled. A true smile, something he loved to see, something that brightened his day, and lit the way when the path was dark. Meiling, to him, was an angel in disquise, so pure, so lovely, and so very innocent. His angel, the one he'd help when her wings wouldn't work and she would fall. That was what he was doing now. She was like a fallen angel.  
  
"I love you," the soft whispering ran through her sending soft rushes of warmth. She felt his touch gently lay on her stomach, but ignored and didn't push away.  
  
"I love you," her voice repeated back, it holding it's own gentleness. She placed her hand on top of his, which had been laid on her stomach. He grinned, and kissed her gently on the cheek.  
  
If only happiness could last like that forever..  
  
----------  
  
"You know that I'm here for you, right, Meiling?" He questioned her before sliding in to their bed. She had repeated, on her side. Syaoran's arm wrapped around her gently. She nodded gently in responce and shut her eyes slowly.  
  
"Good. Remember I'm here for you, and I always be. Sweet dreams, Meiling," he took in one deep breath and began to go into a sleep.  
  
Despite the nine o'clock atomisphere, Meiling could still barely see her own body. She had been staring deeply at the wrist she had tried to slit earlier today. She sighed and looked at the arm wrapped around her. It had been preventing her from escape. She looked at her wrist again, and gently used her nail to scrape at it, focing a little shot of pain to shoot through her system.  
  
----------  
  
It had been early when Meiling had finally awoke, it was still slightly dark. She turned slightly to find Syaoran had released her from his warm grip, and she was finally free to stand up and get out of the bedroom. And she did, making her down to the kitchen. She had set her hand on the drawer, pulling it open to find another silver blade.. Oh, the urge, she set her hand back on the clean black handle and paused. This time, she had time to think about what would happen to her and Syaoran.  
  
"But.. Syaoran," she hesitated and looked desperatley at the blade.. So clean and deadly, it could kill her if she used it.. But then again, there was always the after shock. What would happen to everyone else? "Syaoran.. Syaoran. My Syaoran," she glanced back down at it once again. "I.. can't," she pulled her hand out quickly and slammed the drawer back to it's closed position, sending a loud Syaoran waking noise through out the house.  
  
She stumbled and walked backwards, going against the counter, then sliding to the floor, pulling her knees to her chest, while her slender arms wrapped around her. "What are you doing, Meiling?" She questioned herself. "Have you finally lost your sanity? Suicide? Why can't you get some HELP!? Suicide is just a permant answer to a non permanent problem.  
  
"I can't do it. I shouldn't of tried in the first place, now you need it like it's a drug your additced to.. To see the blood run down your wrist and to feel as if the pain is slowly easing. You need to stop," she held her wrist and began to stare at her feet. "Stop it, Mei--"  
  
"Meiling..?" The long pause was held. She didn't want to answer. She knew it was Syaoran, who else could it be? She avoided eye contact, sighing and continuing to sit quietly and still. She was a fallen angel, and she couldn't get up.  
  
"I didn't do anything, Syaoran."  
  
"Meiling," she could somehow feel his eyes darting from her to the closed drawers which lined their kitchen. There was no silver blade, no blood on her or anywhere else for the matter. The whole thought of her cutting herself had vanished instantly from his mind and had been replaced with concern. "What happened?" He moved to her side and knelt near her.  
  
She put her face in her knees to hide her tears. "I'm fine, Syaoran," she turned her head so it would face the opposite side of him. He blinked, still a bit confused on why she had been refusing to look him into the eyes.  
  
"Meiling, look at me," he gently slid his hand under her chin and tugged it toward him. She hesitated at first but then gave up and did as told, coming face to face with him. "What happened? Are you okay?"  
  
"I, you, see, and, you.. I was," she paused, shifting in her place. "I went into the kitchen and I was going to," she paused for a long moment. "you know with a knife, and I put it back in and slammed the drawer." She could feel his eyes darting away from hers and back to her wrist. "I just--"  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"I'm.. fine, Syaoran," she moved quietly to her feet, looking at him then quickly looking away so he wouldn't see another tear running down her face. "I'm fine."  
  
----------  
  
Keep your eyes upon me  
Keep me in your sight  
Help me down the crooked road  
Lead me to the light  
The road I'm on is dark  
I'm not sure I know the way  
But with you beside me  
I know I will not stray  
Protect me from the world I'm in  
I'm certain we'll make it through  
Let me hold your hand  
Let me lean on you.  
  
~Lissa Barker  
  
----------  
  
After Note:  
  
Well. enjoying? I hope sooo! And there is the poem I promised you. Doesn't it sound like Meiling? I really thought it did, and I simply had to post it. :x I think I have another poem for the next chapter. Well.. that's all for now? Keep reviewing, I love it when you review! AND NO FLAMES. Thanks. 


	6. Trying

Trying To Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao-chan  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Welcome back.. I guess there isn't much to say anymore in my author's note, ne? No flames, and this chapter takes place a week after chapter four. That's all I can say right now, because I've said everything I needed to in the previous chapters. As always, no flames, and please be kind enough to review.  
  
Also! I had fun, but the boy who's helping Meiling might be very.. very fimilar because I added him in. They have never met (Like I said, I threw away the original plot), so don't going "HEY, SHE KNOWS HIM!" or anything like that.. I kind of changed the personality of him, too.  
  
Oh! ONE MORE THING. Since I'm kind of clueless on the whole nine months in pregnancy I never told you when they erm.. yah. That was intentional, I DID IT BECAUSE I'M CLUELESS. o_O  
  
----------  
Chapter Five: Trying.  
----------  
  
"Yes, Ms. Li, you are pregnant."  
  
"I know. I just wish I wasn't," Meiling replied in a soft yet irritated voice back to her doctor. She had been sitting in a chair, nearly finished with her appointment. She could feel her doctor slowly scanning her again to make sure of everything. She had paused and hesitated before speaking.  
  
"I would like to ask you, though, why exactly there are cut marks on your wrist?" Meiling suddenly felt like she was under a hot spotlight, all eyes on her. She looked down at her wrist and cursed herself silently for not wearing a long sleeved shirt. "You haven't been doing anything to hurt yourself, right?"  
  
"... I haven't done anything," the nineteen year old made it obvious she was lying. It was just as obvious that she had been cutting herself. Silence. She could finally hear the gentle scribble of a pen against a sheet of paper. The doctor finally handed it to her, looking at her in a more serious manner now.  
  
"I would like you to go seek some help," she pointed to the address of a place on the paper and a few names. "This is a place that can help you--"  
  
"You're telling me to go to one of those loony bins," mumbled Meiling, a hint of sarcasim in her voice, barely enough for her doctor to actually notice it. Although, despite the fact that she couldn't quite find the hint of sarcasim, she could hear what Meiling had said.  
  
"Not really, they can help you. I'm going to phone them and say you're coming to talk to them," she continued to use her pen to scribble down words and such. She then handed the slip to Meiling.  
  
"..Thank you," Meiling replied in diffrent voice. It didn't matter if she was lying, being sarcastic to her doctor, she always seemed to either not notice it, or just ignore and continue on. Meiling stod and slipped out between the door and down the hallway to the waiting room, where Syaoran sat waiting for her. The two exited the room before going back to conversation.  
  
"She wants me to go to a loony bin," Meiling said softly, staring at her feet while walking. She slowly handed the slip to her fiancee, who read it silently, taking one glance at Meiling.  
  
"It's probably--"  
  
"For the best, I know," Meiling groaned slightly.  
  
----------  
  
"Morning," the boy's voice rang cheerfully as Meiling entered the room. The walls held scarlet colour, one wall holding a book shelf stocked with books, opposite that wall held a window showing the bright and lovely day outside. In the center laid a couch and a chair, a desk set behind him.  
  
"Hiiragizawa, Eriol," he extended his hand, holding a cheerful smile. She took it after a slight moment of hesitation and blinked.  
  
"Li, Meiling."  
  
"Pleasure to meet you, Meiling," he said while letting his hand free from hers. He made his way to his chair, while Meiling sat down on the couch, avoiding all eye contact at all costs. She had began to focus attention on the books which laid on his shelf. "So, where would you like to begin?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"What or who do you want to talk about with me?"  
  
Silence invaded the room for a few minutes while the girl cleared her thoughts.  
  
"..Syaoran," Meiling turned her head slightly so able to take a glance at him and what he was currently doing. He had pulled out a notebook, and a midnight blue pen. She watched the top slowly move as he jotted down something on the paper. It was mostly likely her name and the day.  
  
"Who's Syaoran?" He began again, trying to go back into conversation. The question seemed almost stupid. If he was going to try and help you would think he would of known who her fiancee was. She raised an eye brow at him very slightly.  
  
"My fiancee."  
  
"Really? That's good. Have you two planned a wedding and everything?"  
  
"We haven't set a date, not now, no. He's kind of worr--nevermind." He paused and waited for her to say more.  
  
"Did he propose recently?"  
  
"It was a few months ago," Meiling said, pulling her hands together and placing them in her lap. Her eyes focusing on her nails, which were perfectly manicured, and designed into a French manicure. "I remember it pretty well, but, I don't want to talk about that, it's.. personal."  
  
"All right. Meiling, I want to ask you something a bit personal."  
  
"Go ahead."  
  
"I heard you cut yourself.. why?"  
  
"I've only done it once!" Silence strikes through the room again, and now the only thing heard is Eriol jotting down a quick note that she's only cut herself once. His midnight blue eyes finally look up from the paper to her. He gently pushed his glasses back to their place. She finally looked at the clock.  
  
"Meiling?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What happened that made you cut yourself?"  
  
"I," she placed one hand on her stumach and looked at the wall opposite of him. "I, he, um.. I can't say."  
  
Another note was jotted on the paper before he looked back at her, then at the clock, and at her. "All right, Meiling. We can talk more next week," she nodde and stood up, walking out of the room as fast as she could, continuing in the same speed down the hallway to where Syaoran sat. The attendant looked at her, then went back to what she was doing.  
  
"I don't like this, Syaoran," she said softly through gritted teeth as he stood. "I hate this," she moved to the door with Syaoran following her. He opened and they left quietly.  
  
---------  
  
A tear gently streaked down her cheek as he sat down next to her in the living room. She had closed her eyes and leaned back slightly into his grasp, sighing deeply. "I don't like him.."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Eriol. He's the guy who was talking to me."  
  
"What'd he say?" Syaoran gently rubbed her shoulder in a comforting way. She shook her head very lightly, finally opening her eyes to look at him. Depression overcoming the ruby orbs. Concern overcoming his chocolate orbs. She sighed for what felt like the thousandth time this week.  
  
"He asked who you were, in the beginning, and we talked about the wedding and how you propose. I didn't really tell him anything about that, and then he asked me why I," she shifted in her seat, a bit umcomfortable with the word 'cut'. "I, I.. cut myself."  
  
"Why do you, though, Meiling?"  
  
"Syaoran!" She began to move away from his grasp. "YOU OF ALL PEOPLE WOULD KNOW!" She moved to farthest end of the couch and laid her elbows in her knees, and placed her face in her hands. A small clear tear drop dripped through her fingers. "You.. should know, Syaoran.."  
  
"It's because you're pregnant, right?" He moved closer to her, attempting to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. She pushed him away before he could suceed in his task. He blinked and moved back, apparently hurt emotionally. "All right," she could feel him get off the couch and move to the kitchen. She then heard the clutter of pots and pans.  
  
"Syaoran," she whispered slightly into her hands, using her hand to gently push her hair out of her face and softly wipe the tears from her eyes. The girl then pulled her feet onto the couch, laid her head on the arm rest and turned her body to face the back cushions.  
  
--------  
  
Life is precious  
But God takes it away--  
Why we just don't know.  
And in time we come to accept  
That is was their time to go.  
But what happens  
When one takes his or her own life,  
Leaving loves in despair--  
Why did this person not understand:  
There are people who care.  
Peers understand it's hard to cope  
When pressure gets too great,  
But choosing death should not be  
Your only choice or fate.  
So when life's problems get you down  
And you cannot see the end,  
Find the time to call someone--  
A buddy, peer, or friend.  
  
~Lilian Gamble  
  
----------  
  
After Note:  
  
Mmm.. Like? I think I have poems for most chapters, so keep expecting them? I hope you all are enjoying my suprisingly short chapters, and I hope you all will be kind enough to review each chapter I write. I take the time to type it and you should take the time to review it. No flames, thank you! ^^ 


	7. Opinions

Trying To Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao-chan  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Been a long time. Hello everyone! I'm back. I actually did a little bit of research on  
pregnancy and decided the week Meiling is on. Thank you so much to wispykitty for the  
advice. Also, only one more thing: I'll try to be focusing on Meiling and Eriol in the very  
beginning.  
  
----------  
Chapter Seven: Opinions.  
----------  
  
"Any where you'd like to start this time, Meiling?" Eriol's voice rose as he looked up from his notebook. He had just finished writing the date under the last entry he had made.  
  
"No," Eriol paused waiting just a moment to see if she decided to change her mind, then focus everything around that one topic. She didn't.  
  
"All right, Meiling. I have a question, if you don't mind."  
  
Meiling turned herself to not face him, her ruby eyes gently scanning the walls for anything that might be considered a 'mess up'. Any scratches, anything at all that she could focus her full attention on. Anything at all to take her mind of Eriol and his trying to 'help' her.  
  
"Why don't you want your baby?"  
  
She began to scan the walls faster. This was exactly the question she hoped that he never would ask her. How could she actually put her answer into.. words? She just didn't want the baby. Simple, right?  
  
Wrong.  
  
"I'm no exactly mommy material. Nineteen years old. What exactly do you expect of me? I'm YOUNG and I shouldn't have to throw away the good things in life so I can mature with this child of mine," she finally replied softly and quickly.  
  
"But to cut yourself over it, Meiling?"  
  
"I only did it once," she stated as she began to curl herself into a relaxed ball.  
  
"Once is one too much."  
  
"What would YOU know about it? I don't expect you to get pregnant at nineteen years old!" The room went silent after her outburst, and finally there was a gently noise of a pen scribbling across a pad of notebook paper. Eriol's notebook that he took notes on. Notes about her. Notes about Meiling Li.  
  
Finally that silenced, then the noise of something being pushed across the carpet towards her. She turned slightly and looked down at it, a box of tissues. She quietly snatched one and folded it in her hands, knowing it would be useful sometime during this session.  
  
"So, Eriol, can I ask you a question?"  
  
"Yes, you can, if you want."  
  
"Why do you think I cut myself that one time?"  
  
----------  
  
Pace. Pace. Pace. The hallway was filled with the sound of Syaoran's shoes squeaking against the floor as he paced the hallway slowly. It had been nearly fifteen minutes since Meiling had entered Eriol Hiiragizawa's office and he had been pacing nervously for the whole time.  
  
Eventually he had come to a complete stop and starred at the clock above the door  
down the hall. The time seemed to be slowly. Tick.....tick........tick..........tick...................t...i...c...k. He only wished that that session would end quickly, so he could see if he had helped her any. Even at times, he wanted to burst into that room, but, of course, he couldn't.  
  
He began to count the weeks with his fingers. One finger ment one week, two fingers ment two weeks, and three fingers ment three ways, and so on. He had finally paused on the second finger, on his left hand. It had been seven weeks. Meiling had been pregnant with a baby for seven weeks.  
  
----------  
  
"Actually, there is many different reasons for cutting. For you, I would say, that I think that you cut yourself because you are nervous."  
  
"What do you mean. How am I nervous?"  
  
"Nervous about what would happen if you gave birth to your baby. What your life would turn into with it."  
  
She could finally feel a tear slide down her cheek, and gently wiped her eyes with the end of the tissue to get rid of it. She went silent for a few minutes, trying to clear her head of all her thoughts. "Can we change the subject, please?" Her voice seemed unusually quiet and soft, almost like it was hurt.  
  
He again jotted another note onto his notebook paper. "Of course we can change the subject. What would you like to talk about?"  
  
"..Syaoran."  
  
"Your fiancee?"  
  
"My baby's father. Yes, him."  
  
"All right."  
  
"You know, sometimes I think it's his fault for all of this. That's his fault that I'm stuck in this world with this baby. I mean, sometimes I hate him for it," Eriol gently leaned forward in his chair, setting his pen down to hear her speak more. "But then again, there is those times that I'm glad he's there for me. Like when I had that blade, he came back in and stopped me from cutting myself," she paused and a smile gently curled to her lips. "He comforted me while I broke down and cried.  
  
"Sometimes I'm actually wanting to keep this baby. It's like one single second that I want to have it, but then I don't. Sometimes I want to ask him if he wants me to have this baby, but I don't."  
  
"Why don't you ask him, Meiling?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"All right. Well, good job today, Meiling. Time is up. I hope you'll be here next week," Meiling gently nodded and used her tissue to dry her tears one last time, the finally turned over to look at him. "If you have any problems, please, call me," again she nodded. Slowly standing up she made her way to the door and exited.  
  
----------  
  
"What did you guys talk about?" Syaoran asked as he slipped himself into their bed, in his normal spot next to hers. Again she turned so her back was facing him.  
  
"Nothing," she mumbled quietly. "Nothing really important, Syaoran."  
  
"All right, if you say so," he replied back in the same tone. He moved a bit closer and gently placed a kiss on her cheek, hoping to death that it wouldn't make her uncomfortable. "Sweet dreams, Mei," he moved back to his spot and closed his eyes.  
  
  
A few minutes passed, the couple still laying in their spots awake, wide awake.  
  
"I told him that sometimes I blame you for it.. Syaoran?" She whispered, flipping sides to face him. She gently tapped him. "Are you awake?"  
  
"Yes, Mei?"  
  
"I told him that," she began to stumble with the right words. She felt like crying again but held them back, knowing this was important and that it was going to be hard to take, harder if she broke down crying like she did everytime. "that..that.. I thought that sometimes this was your fault. I said that sometimes I want to hate you for doing this to me.."  
  
Syaoran seemed to skip a heart beat hearing that. He gently pulled himself into a sitting position, looking at Meiling through the darkness. He wanted to tell her it was HER fault, but he couldn't, no matter how much those words hurt him, no matter how many times it felt like those words were stabbing him, he couldn't argue back to her. "Hate me for doing this to you," his voice trailed off, repeating part of what she had said to him. "Meiling--"  
  
"I also said that I'm glad you're there for me, that I know it was my fault. Syaoran, I'm.. sorry," she forced the words out, trying to make sure they didn't sound as hurtful at they actually were. "Sorry," she repeated, turning back again. He slowly laid back down, but scooted closer to her, setting an arm around her, and his hand softly joining in hers.  
  
"Don't be sorry, Mei," he knew that what she had told him was REALLY hurtful, but he really couldn't hold it against her. This was something too serious, and arguing would add to it. His fingers gently rubbed against her.  
  
Another few minutes of silence passed.  
  
"Syaoran?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Do you want me to have this baby?" His fingers instantly stopped rubbing against hers. She could again feel those tears threatening to drench her face again, but held them back. She gently bit her lower lip trying to hold everything in at one time.  
  
----------  
  
After Note:  
  
Hmmm.. like? Maybe better then the last chapters? I HOPE so. 


	8. Rain Drops

Trying To Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao-chan  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Miss me? Dear god I hope so. I know I haven't been writing for a long time, but as I said I was suffering sevre writer's block (it's a horror, I know.) So, anyway, I'm hoping chapter eight will be a success considering how I didn't post in so so so long.   
  
If you're looking for the Eriol/Meiling conversations, there is none in this chapter! I wonder if that's considered a good thing? It's more Syaoran/Meiling this chapter.  
  
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Chapter Eight: Rain Drops.  
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"Syaoran?" Her voice was soft and hurt at the same time. He still was quiet, though, thinking over what he would say to her. He knew this was a hard topic for her to place on to both of them, so he had make sure everything he was going to say was perfect.  
  
"...Meiling, I really only want whatever you want. If you want to be a mother now, have a child, our child, then it's fine with me. It's okay if you don't want it either. Just understand, Mei, I want whatever will make you happy. When you're happy, I'll be happy," He made every word that he spoke clear with a bit of comfort and understanding in it.  
  
He could hear and feel her whole body trembling softly as he held her. He could tell she was crying softly, too. He really just wanted to calm her down, and give this whole devastation to someone else who could handle the whole factor, but he knew he couldn't.  
  
"I'm sorry, Syaoran," her voice gently filled the room. He started rubbing her fingers gently with his once again, trying to calm her down. "For putting this on you. I'm so sorry. Sorry, Syaoran.."  
  
"Meiling?"  
  
She was still trembling and crying. "So so so sorry."  
  
"Meiling?"  
  
"Sorry.."  
  
"Meiling Li?" That quieted her down. "Listen, don't be sorry, not all of this is your fault. We're in this together, okay?"  
  
"Syaoran, this is MY fault," her voice was growing louder and more crying was happening at the same time.  
  
"No, listen to me--"  
  
"It's not your fault, it's mine!"  
  
"Meiling--"  
  
"It's all my fault..."  
  
"MEILING! Please, just calm down, and listen to me!" She stopped talking instantly. "Okay, I am there for you, and it's not your fault. It doesn't happen because of one person, okay?"  
  
"..Okay, Syaoran."  
  
----------  
  
Groan. It was raining by nine o'clock that morning. She had hated the rain, mostly because it reminded her of herself. Rain drops would slowly drip down the window's glass, just like tears would spill slowly down her cheeks when she cried. To her, rain drops reminded her of how 'weak' she truely was. If only she could be on top of things, if she couldn't only control what was going on.  
  
She stood, setting her finger on the glass opposite of the side that was outside, caring water. Her finger gently followed a raindrop down the the bottom. The bottom of the window was like the final destination, and for rain drops it was no more free fall, and for her, she still didn't know.  
  
"I hate this," Meiling mumbled quietly, hoping no would hear her. Her emotion had quickly turned from pity on herself to hatred on everything. "Why do people make such a big deal about me? It's my life, I should be able to do what I want to," she sighed lightly, realizing what she had just said to herself. Again her emotion changed from hatred to depression. "No, Meiling, you know why, it's because they love you, and they care for you--"  
  
She felt warmth gently creep up behind her and gently place itself around her shoulders. "Of course we love you, Mei."  
  
"Syaoran--"  
  
"Who would love you more then I do?" He placed a soft kiss on the side of her neck. Again, she felt like collapsing. Another change in emotion, depression to desire. She placed a kiss on his cheek for th first time in which seemed like forever. He grinned.  
  
"In a better mood, Mei?"  
  
Meiling shut her eyes as his grasp gently tightened, then he placed his head on her shoulder, kissing her again on the cheek this time. "I am."  
  
"You're acting like you're eighteen again," he paused for a moment. "I like it," his voice seemed to have romance mixed with a hint of seduction, something unusual since Meiling's knowledge of being pregnant. For the first time, she was comfortable with this all.  
  
"Syaoran.."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"I love you," her voice was almost like a pur, soft, loving, and so perfect in every way.  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
Meiling moved to a different position, to where she could embrace him. He held her before actually make any move on her. After a few minutes, she could feel him kissing her neck lightly, and his fingers playing with the rim of her pajamas shirt; a red tanktop. She smiled, letting him have his way for the time being.  
  
She could feel him gently sliding his hands up the back of her shirt, placing his hands on her bare back, then the feeling of being pushed against the wall next to the window. Everything seemed to becoming a bit more playful or even forceful. His lips met with her, kissing. His arms gently pulled her shirt up. He broke the kiss, and pulled it off, and dropping it to the ground next to them. He let his eyes gently scan her upper body, over her perfect figure, despite the fact that she wasn't as skinny as she was a few weeks ago, it didn't seem to bother him, though.  
  
He gently pulled her closer to him. "My God, Mei, you're beautiful," he whispered before again kissing her on the neck. He stopped again. "I love you so much, Mei," he said. She moved her head to the side slightly, moaning lightly.  
  
"Syaoran.."  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Do you remember what happened last time you were drunk?"  
  
"I do," he said through kisses. "But I wasn't drunk."  
  
"Wait.." She blinked. "Wait, Syaoran, stop," but it appeared that he was too busy kissing her neck, still. "Syaoran, please!" At that, he stopped and looked at her, waiting for her to say something. "I.. I don't want anything to happen, please," her voice faded in a pleading tone. "Let's just stop."  
  
"Meiling--"  
  
"Syaoran, please!" He kissed her once more on the neck, before releasing her from his loving grasp. "I'm sorry," she whispered, bending down and grabbing her shirt. He shook his head slowly.  
  
"No, it's okay. You're right, we shouldn't do this. You don't want anything to happen, I shouldn't of started it."  
  
"Syaoran--"  
  
"No, really, Meiling, I'm serious."  
  
"I.." she slipped the shirt back on, and looked at him. "I'm going to go change and walk outside, okay?"  
  
"It's raining, though!"  
  
"I know, I'll be fine, don't worry."  
  
"Do you want me to come with you?"  
  
"N-no, that's okay. You stay and cook some breakfeast or something."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I'm positive, Syaoran, trust me."  
  
"..."  
  
"I'm just going to clear out my thoughts, that's all."  
  
"Mei.." his voice was pleading, he didn't want her to get hurt by going outside, in the rain, alone, without him.  
  
"Please, Syaoran."  
  
"..Okay, but you'll be back soon?"  
  
"I promise you, I'll be okay, and I'll be back soon."  
  
"Okay.."  
  
"I love you," she leaned in and whispered it to him. "Don't doubt it, Syaoran, never ever. I just need sometime to myself." She moved away, and walked back down the hallway to their bedroom, pulling out some clothes, and began to change out her pajamas and into another outfit to fit the rainy weather outside.  
  
"I never doubt it, Meiling," he whispered back. "Never have I doubted that."  
  
  
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After Note:  
  
Finally! A worthy chapter eight with a bit of.. um.. that! I'm proud of myself, because I finished this in.. what 4 or 5 days? Yay, everyone praise Xiao for her accomplishment. No, I'm kidding. But do you know what I really want? I think you do, want to take a guess? I want you all to reviewwww! I only have about 18 reviews right now, and that's nothing compared to "a promise never broken." okay.. so maybe it is close to 25. I'll shut up now. But be a nice reviewer and review this, even request it to your friends..? Hey, did you know I shocked people by writing this? A few certain people I didn't expect ever to read this.. ::Eyes some of her friends.:: Oh well.. Um.. Okay, I'm done! 


	9. Letters From Someone

Trying to Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao-chan  
  
Author's Notes.  
  
Hey everyone. I'm Xiao your author for this lovely fiction. I'm hoping you're enjoying it, because I'm getting some very wonderful reviews. I'm in an envy list! All hail me. No, I'm kidding. Anyway, that 's enough pointless ranting for now. Continuing on!  
  
Oh! One more thing.. I felt like tossing another character into this place, even if I said they weren't going to be in the fiction before.. I also tossed their personality and "relationship" (no.. not like romantic relationship!) on the show away, and changed it.  
  
I don't own CCS, okay? Thank you, and don't sue me.  
  
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Chapter Nine: Letters From Someone.  
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"See you, Syaoran," Meiling said as her hand made contact with the doorknob of the front door. She gently twisted it and pushed at the same time. It opened without hesitation, and she made her way outside, pulling the hood of her coat over her head, and quietly buttoning the front of it.  
  
She made her way to the park, and took a glance around to see if anyone had been there. She sighed in relief, realizing that this park held no one, considering the rainy weather that had been going on. She took a seat on a bench underneath a tree, happy that it wasn't that damp.  
  
"It's nice to see a fimiliar face," she heard someone say to her. The person had set his hand on her shoulder. Meiling didn't bother to look up, she knew who it was. He stared at her. "You missed the last appointment and I didn't get a call about it, is something wrong, Meiling?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Are you sure? You can tell me, I'm here to help."  
  
"Nothing is wrong."  
  
"Something bad happen at your house? By the way, do you mind if I take that seat next to you?"  
  
"Nothing happened, Hiiragizawa."  
  
He took the seat next to her, taking off his glasses before rubbing them against a cloth that he had taken out of his pocket. "You're upset, though."  
  
"I am not upset."  
  
"Meiling…"  
  
"Leave me alone."  
  
"You know that I can't do that."  
  
"If I say something besides 'no' will you leave me alone?"  
  
"Yes, I will."  
  
"Fine," she took a glance at Eriol before turning her gaze back onto her shoes. She leaned back against the bench and placed her hands inside her pockets. Eriol quietly waited for her responce, gently places his elbows on his knees, and placing his face to rest in his hands. His gaze was set on her. Meiling shut her eyes.  
  
"He," she coughed lightly, lowering her voice. "I.. Eriol, I can't tell you."  
  
"Why not, Meiling?"  
  
"I.. don't want to."  
  
"Are you sure.. Can you just give me a general thought? Meiling?"  
  
"He," she moved somewhat in her seat, feeling uncomfortable. She began to explain everything that happened, not in exclusive detail but in a general manner to just let him know what was going on her life. She placed her elbows on her knees as well and burried her face in her hands, slightly crying. Eriol sat up, placing his hands in his pockets.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it, anymore, though." Meiling finally whispered. Eriol nodded, placing a hand on her shoulder. She sighed, and sat up, looking at him. He smiled lightly, nodding.  
  
"You know, Meiling, that you can tell me anything you want. I'm here to listen to you, so if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'll be there. Just call me, all right?" Meiling nodded, standing up, and thanking him. He nodded back in return, pushing the rims of his glasses back up and stood as well. She thanked him once again and began to walk back in the direction she came, towards her and Syaoran's house. She opened the door, and slipped her shoes off.  
  
"I'm back, Syaoran," Meiling said, walking down the hallway to their bedroom. She slipped off her rain coat, placing it on a hanger and slipping it back into the closet. She turned to walk back out of the bedroom. but spotted Syaoran sitting on the bed, leaning against the pillows. He had a notebook placing on his lap, a midnight black pen placed between the fingers in his right hand. He took a glance at her, smiling.  
  
"Welcome back, Mei." He turned the page and began to write again. Meiling laid herself on the bed, her elbows on the covers, and her face placed in her hands. He smiled at her, continuing to write things on the paper in the notebook.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm just scribbling some things."  
  
"Can I see?"  
  
"Not until it's finished."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because.. I want to finish it first, or it won't make sense when you read it." He took a glance up at her a smiled, then looking back down at the paper, continuing to write.  
  
"Aw, Syaoran!" He looked up as she tackled him down, reaching for the notebook that Syaoran had been writing in. He smirked, and held it out at arms length over the ground. Meiling reached for it, but failed to grab it. She took a look at him, then reached again, this time, grabbing onto him and falling off the bed, pulling him along with her. The instant Meiling let go of him, he jumped up and ran out of the room, hiding the notebook before Meiling could see where. He came back in and looked down at the Meiling who lay on the floor near his feet. He extended a hand to her. She took and pulled herself up on her feet, and took a glance out into the hallway.  
  
"You're playing games with me, aren't you, Syaoran?"  
  
"Not techinally, but if you want to play games, we will."  
  
"What kind of games?"  
  
"Not speed."  
  
Meiling snickered quietly. "No. Not that one." She took a glance at the door. "All right, Syaoran, I have a game for you." She moved back from him and moved to the door, still arms length from him. "How about," she paused and looked around, then walked to the door, grabbing the door knob. "Hide and seek? I hide, you seek." She shut the door, and walked down the hallway.  
  
"Eh..? Hide and seek?"  
  
"COUNT, SYAORAN!"  
  
"Fine, fine! 1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7.. 8.. 9.. 10." he sat himself on the edge of the bed and closed his eyes, counting aloud.  
  
--------  
  
"All right, it has to be here somewhere," Meiling mumbled, searching the front room for the notebook that Syaoran had used earlier. She ran her hand under the cushions that were on the couch, finding nothing in return though. She groaned.  
  
"Ready or not, here I come!" At that, Meiling frantically searched for a place to hide. She looked behind the couch and quickly jumped behind it, laying down between the wall and the back of the couch. She ran her hand underneath it, just to make sure the notebook wasn't there. Her fingers gently tapped against something, she quietly grasped it and pulled it out from it's place. She looked at it, it was a darkened green folder. She opened it to find a bunch of worn papers and envolopes between the flaps.  
  
"Meiling?" Syaoran questioned, looking down at her. "What's that?"  
  
"I don't know," she stood up, still looking at the contents in th folder that she held in her hands. She crawled back over and sat down on one of the cushions, her eyes transfixed on the letters. She finally pulled one out and began to read aloud to Syaoran, who took a sea next to her.  
  
"Dear Syaoran Li,  
I'm so happy that I found someone to write to me. This is turning out to be so much fun! Having a penpal is so cool. By the way, my name is Sakura Kinomoto, and I'm ten years old. And you know I live in Japan (obviously, that's how you sent me the first letter.) I attend Tomoeda Elementary. Let's see.. what else can I put about myself? I have a father named Fujitaka Kinomoto, my mother, Nadeshiko Kinomoto, died when I was three years old, and I have one older brother named Touya Kinomoto (He goes to the high school.). That's all I can think of right now, so what about you? What is life like in Hong Kong? Do you have any siblings? I read in the last letter you sent me that you had to cut your writing short because Meiling wanted you to do something with her, so who is Meiling? I got to go now, since I can't think of anything else to write, but please respond as soon as you can. I'll be waiting for your letter!  
  
Forever,  
Sakura Kinomoto."  
  
"Letters, Syaoran?"  
  
"Yeah, those were from when we were around ten years old. I don't know if you knew I had a penpal or not." Meiling took a glance at him and pulled one of the opened envolopes out of the pocket in the folder, examinging it.  
  
"It's her address? Do you think she still lives there?"  
  
"I doubt it."  
  
"It'd be cool to write to her again!"  
  
"Eh.. Do what you want, Meiling."  
  
-----  
  
After Note:  
  
TOOK FOREVER! Wee.. I really had fun writing that chapter. The only down fall? It's actually kind of short, but that's okay! Quality over quantity? Heehee. So, if you're liking what you are reading, how about you review? I'll love you if you review! So, stay tuned for the next chapter.. I bet you that it will come sooner this this one did! Until then.. Um.. Okay, I don't know. Review now! 


	10. After Thoughts and Explanations

Trying To Cheat Fate.  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Tweaked Eriol a bit, only his age. There's nothing seriously wrong with Meiling, it's just how I feel sometimes when I cry too much.  
  
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Chapter Ten: After Thoughts and Explanations.  
-----  
  
She blinked, and pulled out another letter from the folder and read it. Everything seemed to be so.. fimiliar, in one way or another. The name, mostly: Sakura Kinomoto. She stopped reading the letter that she held in her hand and looked at him.  
  
"What was the name of the card mistress that you had to capture the clow cards with?" She took another glance back at the paper. It was either Sakura who was the one did, or it was another one of the girls they had known when they had lived in Tomoeda, Japan.  
  
He shrugged. "I don't know, her or another one of our friends probably?"  
  
"Oh." She took out another letter and read it silently. Syaoran stared at her for a moment. Was she going to sit there and read every letter Sakura had wrote to him?  
  
"Well," he shrugged. "If you're going to just read all of them, I'm going to go for a walk outside." Meiling nodded without taking her eyes off the paper, and Syaoran quietly left through the front door, leaving Meiling to read in silence.  
  
---  
  
She pulled out the final letter, and stared at the handwriting, which had been shaky and parts were stained with what looks like little droplets of water. Then it struck her..  
  
A letter after they had broken up.  
  
It seemed to be so clear now, exactly what life was like. The two were penpals in the beginning, and then he had figured out about the clow cards being set loose and had left to Tomoeda to find, she, Sakura Kinomoto was no longer a friend, a penpal, but more of a rival for the cards. It developed, and eventually Syaoran had found a new "love" for Sakura, and had broken the engagement they had had. 'How could you forget something like that?' she questioned herself. 'No.. I didn't forget, it just slipped my mind..' She bit her bottom lip.  
  
Once Meiling's bind to Syaoran was broken, he was free to be with Sakura. She remembered everything, from when her and Sakura's friend had set the two up, to those aching days when she had felt more suicidal and alone then ever. On the outside, she was more into helping the two be together. Though, on the inside she was aching for him, feeling terrible that she had lost him for what seemed like an eternity. The times she would see them sitting on the swings, holding hands and laughing, she would feel opposite of both of them, like she could just crawl into a hole and die, and that no one would care.  
  
Oh, sure, her and Syaoran had still been best friends, but that wasn't all that Meiling wanted, oh, no, not at all. She wanted him to love her like he had loved Sakura. She would of done anything just to get one smile from him, like he smiled at Sakura. Anything at all to get the attention he gave to her. She would of done anything, anything at all, just to get him.  
  
Then Syaoran and herself had gone back to Hong Kong, China. Things seemed to slowly change. At first, it seemed more like he was home sick and was yearning for Sakura, but it slowly developed to a relationship for Meiling instead. It was what Meiling had wanted, it was all that she wanted, was him, and it eventually had turned to that. Though, how can anyone tell why? She asked herself that too many times, and she eventually came up with the explanation from Syaoran. How? One day she had decided to ask him.  
  
"I guess when you have someone you love so much and you have to leave them for a while," Syaoran pasued, trying to complete his explanation in his head. "That you started to develope a need to love someone you can see everyday, talk to everyday, love everyday." He took a glance toward Meiling. "Do you get what I'm saying?"  
  
She had nodded. "Yes, I do get it."  
  
"Good. Well, anyway, maybe you need to love someone who is there. That is it all summed up, to make a long story short." He had grinned at her, her reflecting a smile back to him.  
  
Oh, she did have more questions, she wanted to know why he had finally loved her. They had known eachother forever, basically, why couldn't he have loved her when they were children? Why was the routine to break their engagement for another girl, then dump her and resume the engagement plan but this time, it was love and be loved in return? She didn't want to ask him, and so, she forced the question out of her mind and ignored it. That didn't matter, all the mattered was that he had loved her now.  
  
She blinked and looked the envelope she had taken Sakura's letter out of (the one after the two had broken up.), and noticed the other letter inside. She pulled it out and exaimed it, noticing the short letter, and how it was signed with 'Syaoran Li,' at the bottom.  
  
'The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is just to love, and be loved in return. I'm sorry, Sakura. You'll find someone who'll love you just as much as you love them someday, but it's not me.  
  
Sincerely,  
Syaoran Li.'  
  
That was not the only thing written, she noticed, and at the bottom of the short letter, at the very end of the page she had noticed the short sentence written in completely different handwriting.  
  
I don't need to keep this. I don't want to keep it (your letter), so here it is, back to you.  
  
+ I hope you're happy (I do mean this.) without me.  
  
-- Sakura Kinomoto.'  
  
She shoved the letter back into the envelope and then back into the green folder, and shutting it. She had finally wanted to talk to Eriol, to explain things to him. He had said if there was something she wanted to tell him, then to call him, right? She went and looked at the papers near the phone, and noticed the number scribbled next to the name; Eriol Hiiragizawa. She grabbed the phone and dialed, listening to the rings.  
  
"Eriol Hiiragizawa here." That fimilar voice filled Meiling's ears. She sighed in relief, still slightly happy that Eriol was there, that she could tell him everything.  
  
"It's Meiling."  
  
"You rang?"  
  
"I did. I need to talk to you, please. I want to tell you some things if that's all right." She bit her bottom lip, and twirled the coard around his fingers. She wondered if it was possible to go meet him somewhere, thinking it might be easier to explain things in real life, instead of over the phone.  
  
"Would you like me to come to your house? Do this over the phone? Or.."  
  
"My house is fine."  
  
There was silence except for the sound of papers being rustled from Eriol's side of the phone. "Okay. I have your address, I'll meet you in about thirty minutes. 'Bye." She responded again with a simple good bye as well and hung up.  
  
It was no decided. She was going to explain things to him.  
  
She sighed and let herself drag herself from her seat and walk to the front door, grabbing the handle and twisting it. She noticed that Syaoran was sitting on the curb. She walked silently over to him and took a seat next to him, folding her hands infront of her and looking at them.  
  
"Eriol is going to come over." She coughed lightly to clear her throat while Syaoran turned his gaze and looked at her, while she continued. "I want to explain some things to him."  
  
"About what?"  
  
"You and Sakura Kinomoto when we were in--"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I don't know. I just feel like I should explain. Do you want to sit and talk with us or would you rather go elsewhere?"  
  
He paused. Listen to his fiancee and her therapist? What Meiling had to say about when him and Sakura were together? Interesting idea, and a tempting situation. He looked down at the concrete and shrugged his shoulders. "I'll do whatever you two want."  
  
She nodded and stood in time with him, and the two made their way back inside, Meiling making her way back to the kitchen and putting on a pot of tea, while Syaoran sat down at the table.  
  
---  
  
Ding-Dong. Meiling pushed the chair out a little bit and stood, nodding to Syaoran that she'd go and answer it. He nodded in return and she went to the door, opening it to reveal infront of her, Eriol Hiiragizawa.  
  
He grinned. "G'afternoon. How are you?" She smiled herself and brought him inside and to the table where Syaoran had been sitting with her, though, was now standing besides his chair. Eriol extended a hand to him, in which he took, shaking for less than a a few seconds.  
  
"Syaoran Li." Syaoran said, staring at him. None the less Chinese, nor Japanese. He looked like one of those Americans, perphaps English. Most likely English, considered the light accent in his voice. He seemed normal enough, though, midnight blue tresses like Syaoran's, but not brown, and his orbs the same colour as his hair, with a pair of circular spectacles over them, and of course, a smile placed on his lips. The boy seemed a litte younger then Syaoran had expected (He had never met him, only sat outside while him and Meiling talked.), probably somewhere in his twenties.  
  
"Ah, the one Meiling likes to talk about." He grinned. "Eriol Hiiragizawa, nice to meet you." Syaoran nodded toward him, while Meiling brough him to the frontroom and the her and Eriol sat.  
  
Eriol looked at Syaoran. "You can join, if it's alright with Meiling." Meiling nodded and her smile brightened as Syaoran took a seat next to her. Eriol had been sitting in a chair opposite of the couple.  
  
Meiling offered him some of the tea she had made a little earlier, but he politely refused and they continued, Eriol pullined out a notebook; a smaller one that fit in his pocket, compared to his other one which was normal size.  
  
"So, Meiling, you wanted to tell me some things?"  
  
She nodded. "It's kind of off topic, though.." She added.  
  
"That's fine, go ahead."  
  
"Okay." she sat back against the cushions on the seat and began to explain things, leaving out the detail of Sakura's magic and the details of the clow cards. Instead of saying Syaoran had come to Tomoeda to go for the clow cards, she had said he had come as a vacation and to meet Sakura, his old penpal. She had even explained in slight detail how she had felt when Syaoran had been dating Sakura. Eriol had nodded and jotted down notes in his small notebook. Syaoran had only stared at Meiling a bit of awe when she said how she felt about the two. He had never expected that. 'I mean, I was perky and happy to be placing them together but really, I guess, I was more jealous and depressive. Seeing them, holding hands, talking and laughing, it made me want to go and crawl into a hole, die. I thought, even, that if I cut myself and died that way not a single person would care!' He ran that over and over in her mind. He began to silently question her. Was she thinking that if she cut herself now and she killed herself, he wouldn't care?  
  
If she was thinking that, she was wrong. He would care.  
  
"Is that everything, Meiling?" He looked up and pressed the rim of his glasses back up onto his nose, and she nodded. He turned and looked at Syaoran.  
  
"Why'd you change your mind?"  
  
"Excuse me..?"  
  
"She said you broke the engagement for someone else and then went back to her?"  
  
"I did."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Silence had began to engulf the room. Eriol was suposed to be here to help Meiling, and not sit and ask Syaoran questions. Syaoran looked at Meiling, she staring back. Meiling knew the reason, and Eriol didn't have to. He didn't want to explain something like that to someone who was practically a complete stranger to himself. He shook his head. "You're suposed to be helping Meiling. There's no reason for you to ask me why I changed my mind." Eriol nodded.  
  
"Well," Eriol took a glance at his watch. "That's rather normal, considering how girls have crushes and are hurt when they find out they like someone else. No worries now that you two are together, though, I reasure you that. Now, I'm terribly sorry but I have another appointment and if I don't leave I'll be late." He smiled and stood, thanking her and exited.  
  
Meiling shut the door behind Eriol, and slowly locked it, sighing. She had spilt some personal things to Eriol, and like Syaoran had said, they didn't have to answer--  
  
"I didn't know you were jealous." Syaoran commented, now standing from his seat. The girl kept her hold on the handle. She shouldn't of told him that, she wanted to keep that secret once Syaoran had began to love her. It would of made him feel bad, exact opposite of what she wanted; she wanted him happy (but before they were together, she wanted him happy, but in return she was sad.).  
  
She pressed her forehead against the wood and shut her eyes, lowing her voice to a whisper, but loud enough so Syaoran would be able to hear her voice. She began to tremble softly. Why? She didn't know. "Did you expect me to tell you how I felt about you? Confront you and say exactly how I felt?" she began to quote things. "'Syaoran, do you have a clue how you're making me feel? I saw you with her, holding hands, you two laughing, the joy in your face? While, I, Meiling Li, your perky fiancee-no-more who wants to get you together, but secretly I think you'd be better off without me. Oh, I know, let me go get a knife, and I can finish this off. It's not like you'd care, hm?'  
  
"I thought that back then, all I wanted from you was you to be happy. I think you thought that was what I wanted." She brought the hand up, the one that wasn't holding onto the door knob and placed it flat on the wood next to where her forehead placed against. She let herself quietly cry at the thought of the past. "I wanted you to be happy, but I wanted the happiness to be when you were with me, not her." There was a sudden jerk of pain in her stomach, maybe it was just thinking about it that brought it, but she felt like she could crumble onto the ground. Maybe, if she went and got a knife and slit her wrists the pain would stop, and then there'd be no pain anymore.  
  
Then there was Syaoran, standing, speechless, watching his girl tremble while giving out an explanation. He wanted to tell her it was okay, he was with her now, that everything was fine, but words couldn't escape his mouth. He felt like he couldn't move until she did.  
  
She remembered looking at those letters, and once realizing that they were from his ex girlfriend, how jealous it made her feel. Jealousy, it was terrible, it brought back those memories. And thinking back at them now, she was feeling sick at the thought. That terrible feeling inside--  
  
She crumbled down to the ground, and that was when Syaoran moved from his spot and went to her, so find her there on the ground, crying. She had pulled her knees to her chest, trying to shove the pain from her stomach. Sometimes, when she thought of something that made her feel bad, she would cry too much and it would make her feel sick and empty and give her a stomach ache. That was what was happening now.  
  
He grabbed her hand in hers and pulled her to her feet, and helped her move back to the couch, sitting her down. She had put her hands over her stomach and leaned against his shoulder. He had a feeling that stomach aches when you felt terrible and were crying over something had to make pain a little worse, but he assumed it was nothing serious. He gently moved her off his shoulder and let her lean against the cushions and went into the kitchen, rummaging through the cabnits. He grabbed some of the pills they took when they had stomach aches and looked at the back label, as long as it said don't take when your pregnant, or anything of the sort, it would be fine. It didn't say anything on that, and so he dropped two tablets into his hand and grabbed a glass, pouring some water into it and adding some ice cubes. He then went back to her and handed it to her.  
  
"Take 'em, they'll help your stomach." She agreed and did so, then drinking the whole glass along with the icecubes. A moment later he found her with her head in his lap, she looking up at him. GOD, he hated it when she was upset and felt bad. Hated it, hated it! It made him feel bad, and so, he would always try to comfort the poor girl. Why did she have to go through so much with this? Why couldn't some other girl who would of wanted this to happen of had this instead of his Meiling? God, why was life so unfair?  
  
---  
  
After Note:  
  
... Nothing to say. Check back in chapter eleven. 


	11. Syaoran

Trying to Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Continuing on! :| I know she could kill herself by slitting her throat but..   
  
----------  
Chapter Eleven: Syaoran.  
----------  
  
Five minutes of silence had englufed the two along with the full house. Meiling's eyes, which had been stained with light pink from crying, were finally closed, and her breathing steady. He had let her lay her head in his lap, he watching her breathing, her chest rising and falling steadily and quietly. He had grinned.  
  
"Sleeping?" He questioned her, she didn't stir and only continued sleeping. He grabbed one of the pillows from the side of the couch and moved from under her, placing the pillow in his place. She turned onto her side, bending her knees lightly.  
  
He walked back to the kitchen and rummaged through the cabnit, and slipping out the notebook he had used to write earlier that day, along with the pen that was tucked in between the side spirals. He took a seat at the table and turned it to a blank page.  
  
"Dear Sakura (if this is her),  
  
Long time, no write, and no see. I found the letters that you had sent me when I was a kid, suprising, isn't it? Heh. Anyway, down to the real point of this letter (if you even get to reading this. It'll probably be like "Damn, a letter from Syaoran. Well, let's burn it, not like he cares. Jerk."), just thought it'd be a good idea to apologize. I probably shouldn't of broke up with you over mail, it would of been better if it was real life. Yeah, Syaoran, what a jerk. I guess maybe I should of left an explanation in that letter, too, huh? Well, here goes nothing: You remember that girl I told you about in the first few letters? Meiling Li? That girl I was engaged to? I think you can get it from there, right? I hope you don't hold this all against me.  
  
So, onto a different subject. How's life down in Tomoeda? Things are.. okay.. in Hong Kong, I guess. Life is hard, that's all I can say. Mei's been seeing a therapist, his name is Eriol Hiiragizawa, I'm guessing he's English because of his accent when he talks. Meiling thought about writing, you, too. I told her she could, but I'm not sure if you still live in the same place, but I'm hoping that we're lucky. Well, I don't know what to say (I've never been with letters, right?), so, I guess I'll just let you be. Check the return address for our address and if you want, reply. I think Meiling'll send you a letter, too, if you reply back.  
  
Sincerely,  
Syaoran Li.  
  
He tore the page out carefully, and made sure the edge had stayed a straight line and took out an empty envelope from the green folder that held the letters Sakura had sent him a while back, along with a stamp (two) and one of the envelopes she had used to send him letters in. He folded the paper and slipping it into the envelope and sealing it, addressing the envelope and placing the stamps on it. He stood wand walked back to the front room, and to the front door, looking back at Meiling in silence. He watched her chest rise and fall, it doing so faster then it would when she was sleeping. So, it was obvious she was faking. He smirked, thinking it was kind of cute to watch her fake it, just like it was cute when kids would try and fake it, them squinting their eyes really hard.. Heh. He pulled the door opened and exited, walking down the street to the gath of mailboxes that you had to insert a key to get your mail.  
  
She opened her eyes, and looked around. He had left again. Thank you! She got to her feet and ran to the kitchen, and once again, pulled out that silver blade, placing the sharpened part to the wrist that she had cut previously.  
  
'Slit it deep..' She told herself quietly. She wasn't going to fail this time, oh no. She was alone, she could finish this off before Syaoran came back.  
  
"There's no need to fail, now, he's not here. Slit it deep, so deep." She paused and looked at herself. "I love you, Syaoran, though, and never doubt it, you probably kept me alive longer then I expected." She paused. Wait, shouldn't she hate him for that? No matter. She pressed hard on the silver and moved the blade. It cut, deep, and blood had finally began to seep between the blade, she pulled it out and dropped it, clutching her wrist tightly, shutting her eyes and biting her bottom lip to the piont where some blood dropped there, as well. It was hurting. She screamed and dropped down. Why did it hurt?! It never hurt before..! Her screams recuded to loud whimpering while she clutched tighter, letting tears finally stream down. 'Oooh, smart one, Mei, you get to hurt yourself in the process!'  
  
A door opened stopped her dead in the process of clutching her wrist. She had failed miserably again. She loosened her grip and moved her stained red hand from her cut and noticed that it wasn't as deep as expected. Damnit!  
  
She now didn't care that Syaoran was home, would find her sitting on ground, clutching her wrist and the knife a few feet away, drentched in a fairly good amount of her blood. She lowered her voice, whimpered, now changing her mind. "Why can't you take the help you're being given?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MEILING?!" She scolded herself, her body trembling now. Syaoran had finally noticed she was sitting there, and rushed toward her.  
  
"What the hell? MEI!" It wasn't anger, it was more shocked. She stopped shutting her eyes and looked at him with fear. She half expected him to grab her and pull her up, maybe yell. She deserved it, didn't she? Smart girl, Meiling, trying to kill herself by slitting her wrist!  
  
"Give me your wrist," He pulled it out from her other hand and stared. She stared at him. He looked hurt, almost half to tears, like he had been slit when she had did it to herself. He gently pulled her to the sink and went to the cabnit next to then, pulling out the first aid box they kept there. He turned on the water in the sink, and made sure she let some water drip on the cut to clean it a bit, she whimpered during all this, and he finally pulled it out of the water. Meiling grabbed the towel that hung from the facet and dried it softly.  
  
"Here," he pulled out a small brown bottle, labled 'hixrogin peroxide,' that liquid that fizzes when it hits your cut. He untwisted the white top and looked at her. "It'll sting a bit." She nodded, and looked away. He wished he could sugar coat it, tell her that it wasn't going to hurt and it would only clean it, but, of course, she was old enough to understand people only said that so they wouldn't freak out. He poured some of it into the cap and poured the small amount onto her wrist, it instantly fizzing white while Meiling tried her best not to show it hurt.  
  
He ran it back under the water and dried it and pulled out some cloth, wrapping it around a little tight so it would stop the bleeding. He looked down at her wrist while he spoke. "Why?" She stared, confused for a moment before realizing what he was asking. She shook her head, not knowing how she could explain things like this to him.  
  
He looked up at her, and for the first time she saw the hurt in his eyes. "Do you do it because you think I wouldn't care?" He sighed, and took a glance back down. "That I don't love you? That I've only been doing this to make you miserable?" His voice had that slight tremble in it.  
  
"No--"  
  
"We were kids then, Meiling. I never thought you would think that I didn't love you because of Sakura! Oh, sure, I may not of noticed it, and I may of thought that I loved her, but even if I did, I'd still love you. It probably wouldn't be anything other than family love or friendly, but it's love, isn't it?"  
  
"Syaoran--"  
  
"Don't you get it?" He whispered, finishing the bandage around her wrist and looked at her. He was hurt, emotionally, you could tell by that small line of water on the bottom of his eyes, threatening to spill over. "I don't let you hurt yourself because I want you miserable. Lord no, I don't want you miserable! I want you happy, but you're not happy. You know I'd do anything to help you along the way, though, right? You tell me you don't want to have a baby, and if you don't.." He paused, silence for a few moments. "I don't want you to get an abortion, atleast give it to a different family. You wanna know why I do this all for you?" He tried to blink back those tears, but he failed, and there finally were a few silent tears. She hugged him, she silently crying as well. He embraced her back softly. "It's because I love you. My God, I mean, I love you more than anything. I.. just want you to understand that.." She nodded into his shoulder, and tightened her grip on him.  
  
"I've always said, before I put it to my wrist, 'it wasn't your fault, Syaoran, and I love you.'.." She paused. "Oh God, I'm sorry.." She finally told him.  
  
He had his eyes fixed on the knife on the ground where he had found Meiling. "Promise me, that whatever happens, Mei, you'll talk to me."  
  
"..I promise I will."  
  
He tightened his grip. She wouldn't be able to escape, he wasn't going to let her go to she did promise what he wanted her to. "And, promise me.. No matter what," he paused. "you'll stop cutting yourself. Promise me you'll stop." She had loosened her grip at that, and a moment later he could feel her body trembling and she letting herself cry aloud.  
  
"Meiling--"  
  
She shook her head lightly. "No, I'll stop. I swear, I'll stop cutting myself. I promise.."  
  
He smiled and tightened his grip around her more, turning his head lightly and kissing her neck quickly. "Thank you.." He knew she was smiling now, and she was.  
  
---  
  
After Note:  
  
Hmm.. I have more things planned for the next chapter. This fiction'll probably end at chapter twenty at the most, but most likely before that. Heehee.. stay tuned, and review. 


	12. Eriol

Trying to Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
  
Wow, amazing how I've wrote two chapters for this fiction during my vacation.. Ah.. Thats kind of pathetic. I guess I just have nothing better to do, hm?  
  
----------  
Chapter Twelve: Eriol.  
----------  
  
"Eriol?" Syaoran asked quietly, considering Meiling was sleeping once again, since loosing blood seemed to drag her to the point were she just needed to sleep.  
  
"This is him."  
  
"It's Syaoran Li. I didn't catch you in a bad time?"  
  
"Not a bad time at all."  
  
"Okay, great." He turned and walked back into their bedroom, where Meiling slep soundly on the bed, her bandaged hand placed under her pillow. He walked back into the hallway and shut the door behind him. "Listen, Meiling cut herself again." He heard Eriol sigh for a moment. "No, it's not as bad as it sounds."  
  
"How so? What happened?"  
  
"I went to check the mail and I came back she had cut herself, and she was whimpering, and holding her wrist. We cleaned it and I started to feel bad, thinking she cut herself because.. Well, the reason is really long."  
  
"I have time. Go ahead." Eriol encouraged. Syaoran could hear him taking out a notebook and flipping pages, probably to a blank one.  
  
He sighed himself. "Well, I asked her if she did it because she thought I didn't love her, and I kind of went into this thing saying, 'We were kids then. Even if I loved Sakura, I would of still loved you, but more of a family and friendly way, but that's love, isn't it?' and I asked her if she thought I was trying to stop her to make her life miserable. I went into explanation, and I even told her that if she didn't want the baby, fine, but atleast not get an abortion. I said, she should give it to another family instead of an abortion. I told her the whole reason I why I did all this for her was because I loved her. She started crying and hugging me and I had her promise she'd stop cutting herself. Guess what? She promised me."  
  
"Syaoran, listen, I'm not trying to put your hopes down, but some promises don't last. She may do it again, because a promise isn't actually binding her from knifes and whatever else she could use--"  
  
"Don't you tell me that! When I found her, before I heard her scream 'WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE THE HELP YOU GET? WHAT THE FUCK--' excuse the langauge. 'IS YOUR PROBLEM, MEILING?' And I know it was true, I swear to God, it was true. She was crying, upset because she was making me feel bad."  
  
"No, I'm not saying it's 100% positive she'll pick a knife back up--"  
  
"See, I've known her since.. forever, and I can tell when she says she's not going to do something, whether she is telling a lie or is being true. This is not something she'd lie to me about, and even if she did, none of us are very good at lying and we can tell when eachother is lying. She wasn't."  
  
Eriol sighed. "Okay, if you really think that she'll stop, I'll believe you until she starts showing signs that she's depressed, okay? I still want to see her every week, just to make sure, though, until the baby is born."  
  
"Fine. All right, that's all I wanted to tell you. I'll call you if anything is up. 'Bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
---  
  
"Where do you want to start?" Eriol smiled, leaning back against his chair while Meiling was sitting opposite of him, a little bit of distance between him and her.  
  
She looked down at her hands, she had laced her fingers together, and was moving her thumbs in circles around eachother. "Syaoran told me that he told you about my promise." She took a glance up and saw Eriol nod. "He said you have some doubt in me."  
  
He shifted in his seat a bit. "It's just some people will say they'll stop, and it doesn't happen."  
  
"I promised I'd stop."  
  
"I know you did, and I'm sure you will stop. I'm just going to continue to talk to you to make sure you do stop. You know, help you along."  
  
She stopped moving her thumbs in circles and sat back a bit, uncrossing her legs, then crossing them again, the other leg over the other one. "Did he tell you what happened? I mean, you know, everything? I mean, from when he was thinking I.. cut.. myself because he thought I didn't love him?" Eriol nodded, while Meiling gave an uneasy "oh". She sighed, wondering why Syaoran had to tell Eriol all that, it was like, all of the sudden he was both her and Syaoran's therapist.  
  
"I wanted that kind of secret," she whispered quietly.  
  
"He only told me. It'll stay between you, Syaoran, and I. If you want, I'll try to forget it. Might not work, mind you."  
  
She nodded. "Okay." She went back to circling her thumbs. He took a glance away, and then back to her.  
  
"You can tell me anything, Meiling, you know that, right?"  
  
She sighed. "I know, I should, it'd probably help, wouldn't it?" She faked a laugh. She had told him things she didn't want to, and maybe it had helped her, but then again, maybe it hadn't. She couldn't tell the difference.  
  
He nodded once again. "I do think it would help, but maybe some things aren't ment to be spilled. I think that is what you're thinking. But you never know, some information you'd prefer to keep deep inside you may be that precious information we need to help you quit.. hurting yourself."  
  
"You don't need any information from me, I promised I'd stop! A promise is a promise, and even if you have doubts that I'll do it to myself again, I believe in myself, so does Syaoran. I don't see why your opinion matters.." She uncrossed her legs and folded her elbows, placing them against her knees, and running her fingers through her bangs till her forehead rested in her palms of her right and left hand. She stared down at her shoes, along with the floor. "A promise is a promise, Eriol. I know I'll stop, and Syaoran trusts me and knows I will. That's all that matters."  
  
"With an attitude like that," He leaned back once again, till his head rested against his seat, him folding his hands and setting them on his lap. "I'm sure you can stop."  
  
---  
  
After Note:  
  
Some chapters are ment to be short, like this one. Gomen nasai, but it made a good stop right there, and you'll see another chapter soon, most likely. 


	13. Midnight's Walk Part I

Trying to Cheat Fate.  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
  
I know I haven't updated in a very long time, but I recently printed all 32 pages of this fiction and read over them, which told me, "hey, you need to finish this, damnit!" so, here I am, writing.  
  
I forgot what I was going to do for chapter 13, but no worries, it'll be okay.  
  
No flames, I hate them, they'll burn.. and I don't own Card Captor Sakura, nor any of the characters.. Here we go, back on track with the fiction.  
  
-----  
Chapter Thirteen: Midnight's Walk. (I)  
------  
  
She quietly bit at the index finger's nail of her right hand, her whole body trembling softly. She whimpered lightly as she felt part of the nail pull apart from the skin, exposing blood at the tip of her finger, while some seeped down beneath the nail.  
  
She wished that he had his arm around her, considering it would of made it seem impossible to get out of bed and go for the knife, but she wasn't. She had made that promise not to cut herself, and she intended to keep it. But why was it so hard that she had to lay in the pitch black and bite her nails to keep herself from getting out and cutting herself.  
  
Tears began to come again, silently streaming down her cheeks. She hated this. Hated it, hated it! Cutting was like a drug now, she was addicted, even if the more recent time it had hurt her. She needed it, but the promise she had made was binding her.  
  
"Meiling?" She heard his voice quietly rise up above the silence. She was now trembling uncontrollably, quietly gasping for air, breathing shaky. She knew he could hear her, and that had been the reason why the light was turned on.  
  
Meiling had been laying on her side, her body curled lightly. "I can't do this," she finally forced the words out of her mouth, her voice shaking. She shook her head, shutting her eyes and biting her bottom lip. "It's too hard, Syaoran, I just--"  
  
"Stop it. Calm down, Meiling." He took a seat at the edge of the bed, looking at her finger, which was bleeding and slowl dripping onto the sheets. He sighed and gently pulled her to her feet and began to lead her out of the room and to the kitchen.  
  
"I've got an idea." He smiled, washing the cut under watch and pulled out a bandaide and wrapping it around her finger. He let go and hugged her around the waist, trying to calm her. She embraced him back crying on his shoulder. "It's midnight, but you want to go outside for a walk? It'd could clear your mind, we could talk about it."  
  
She shut her eyes and nodded slightly into his shoulder. He smiled and loosened his grip on her, and walked with her over to the front door were they're slippers laid. They both quietly slipped them on and Syaoran went back and grabbed the keys to the house.  
  
"It's not cold out, I'm sure. Probably quiet nice, I don't think you need a coat or anything." She nodded and whiped her eyes while he opened the door for her (They both had been dressed decently. Pants and shirt on both.), him following behind her and shutting it. The street lights had still been on and the whole street, the whole town, seemed to be calm at the moment.  
  
"I'm sorry," Meiling said quietly as Syaoran slipped an arm around her waist, him standing on the right side of her, the inside of his hand placed against her left hand, lacing his fingers in hers. He nodded in understanding while Meiling sighed and stared silently at the ground as the two made their walk.  
  
He paused, trying to find the words. He knew he had to be understanding with her, but to tell the turth he was having trouble making her stop. "As long as you didn't cut yourself, don't be sorry. I think I'd rather talk this out with you then to leave you crying and shaking all night and bitting her nails 'til they bleed."  
  
"You must think I'm a pyscho, and should be in a loony bin."  
  
"No," his voice trailed off.  
  
"Crazy Meiling," she chuckled lightly to herself. "Can't handle the fact that she's pregnant."  
  
"Stop--"  
  
"Cut herself over it -- kill herself and her baby. Stupid girl."  
  
"Mei--"  
  
"Stupid, stupid, stupid." She cackled lightly, and continued to repeat things as if she wasn't even there, as if she was talking about someone else named Meiling. "Stupid bitch, can't even realize the truth--"  
  
"HEY -- stop it! MEILING!" Syaoran shook her slightly, stopping himself and her. He stared at her, eyes full of concern. He must be dreaming right? Meiling was loosing it.  
  
"She thinks she can just cheat her damn fate, the stupid girl." She looked up at him, her eyes watering with tears. He wasn't listening to what he was saying. A little annoyed he gripped her left hand tight and dug his nails slightly into her palm. She stopped talking instantly, and he loosened the grip immediately.  
  
"Sorry, you were getting hyst--"  
  
"Hey! Do it again, it felt good. A little weak, but--" He dropped her hand from hers and turned so he had now been infront of her. He fixed his eyes on hers, and set his hands on her shoulders and squeezed gently. He shook his head, looking down for a moment and let out a quiet and short sigh.  
  
She watched him, tears still streaming down her eyes, leaving them faded pink and glistening softly with tears. "Just listen to me for a second, okay, Meiling?" He paused for a long moment, and finally looked back at her. "Stop calling yourself stupid, things like this happen to everyone some part in their lives. I mean, I can't say I understand how much you're going through because I know for a fact this is hard for you, but I'm trying to help you with what you're going through.  
  
"It's okay that you're struggling with the whole cutting situation, but don't start talking bad about yourself because of it. Some people would make a promise and then break it just so people will leave them alone." He paused, bit his bottom lip for the shortest momet. "But you're different, and when you promise something, I know that you mean it. You're going to stop, and if you need someone to help you along the way, then you talk to me, Eriol as well.   
  
"Just believe that this'll be fine in the end. No matter if you chose to give the baby away when it's born, or to keep it as ours.. It'll be okay, just don't kill yourself and it over this. You're a strong girl, you've been strong since forever, and something like this can't stop you.."  
  
He hugged her. "So, lets go home, okay? No use standing outside at midnight. We both need some sleep."  
  
"You're right.."  
  
-----  
  
After Note:  
  
I have weird habits with cutting chapters short.. Anyway, stay tuned for the next chapter. 


	14. Midnight's Walk Part II

Trying to Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
  
I typed this whole chapter out, well.. most of it, and then we got a new computer. Funny how for the first time I forgot to save to me red disk (containing all chapters of this fiction..) That's alright, though.  
  
------  
Chapter Fourteen: Midnight's Walk (II)  
------  
  
The couple continued to walk in silence, beside eachother, Syaoran's arm wrapped comfortingly around Meiling's waist. The whole time Meiling had continued to stare down at her feet, continuing to let those tears drop her eyes. On the inside, she was scolding herself for acting like she did.   
  
'You're such a wimp, Meiling. Never once have you ever been to stop yourself from crying over this. Pathetic. You've never ever been like this, what the hell is wrong with you? YOU'RE SO.. PATHETIC! Having to rely on Syaoran. Pfft, when in your life did you have to depend on anyone else except yourself, hm? Tell me that, you smart ass bitch.' She brought her hands to her face for a moment and rubbed her eyes, trying to get that hitn of wetness away. She groaned, and shook her head. It couldn't be her telling herself this. It was just impossible! It had to be just a cold voice whispering off from the distance, something no one else heard except her. Yes, that had to be it.  
  
Syaoran took a side glance and looked up at the sky above them. It was no longer covered in that beautiful dash of stars everywhere. There was no full moon anymore, all that was left were those puffed and dark clouds that always brough rain. Meiling stared at him for a moment.  
  
"Rain," she moaned. Not again. She knew it was going to happen, and when it rained it seemed to rain when she was feeling the worse. Funny how things worked like that.  
  
"Rain." Syaoran repeated, pulling out his free hand and putting it infront of himself, watching as those small droplets of water began to fall. It was soft rain, not nearly enough to soak them, but it was cold rain. Even if it was very soft rain, Syaoran couldn't help but feel Meiling press herself against his side, shivering slightly. Her eyes were now closed, water streaming down her cheeks (he was unsure if she was crying or it was the rain drops now.), and falling at her chin to the ground, splattering slightly. He smiled lightly down at her.  
  
And eventually, maybe after five minutes of walking in the cold yet soft rain they had made it back to their house. He sighed, and took a glance down the street, and then back at Meiling who was was still pressing against his body, obviously cold.  
  
"I guess I was a little bit wrong on the weather, hm? 'I think it'll be quite nice,'" he quoted himself from earlier. "Yeah, quite nice my ass." He smiled as Meiling chuckled lightly while he opened the door and let her inside.  
  
She let go of him and stepped inside silently. Syaoran pausing before stepping inside, and shutting the door behind him. He got an idea and walked up behind Meiling. "Probably should change, or you'll be cold all night or something." She nodded, and sighed lightly. A moment later, she felt him placing his arms around the back of her legs and back, and pulling her up (much like someone would hold a baby.) and holding her. She stared at him for a moment, wondering against the idea, and decided to let him carry her. Anyway, she was tired of walking, and sleepy, cold. This just seemed a little better than having to dragging her legs down to the bedroom.  
  
"Arigatou," she said, snuggling herself against his chest while he began to walk. Japanese. She laughed at herself silently for it. It seemed a bit odd in her mind to use Japanese when she was now living in China. He nodded lightly, not even noticing the Japanese, and walked, reaching destination and setting her down.  
  
-----  
  
He had pulled the keys out of his pocket while making his way back toward the car. Deciding that for once in his life time he would leave her and Eriol there for once, considering it was finally getting to him--having to sit in the hallway waiting for Meiling's therapy to end. He pushed the key into the slot and turned, unlocking the front door and setting himself in the front door. Quietly he pulled a letter out of his pocket and examined the darkened pink writing on the front. No return address, but then again, it didn't matter. He knew who it was from, the writing and the pink made it a dead give away. Sighing, he took one of the keys on the key chain and placed it under the seal and ripped so that the envelope was open. He pulled the papers out of the envelope and stared.  
  
Four pages. He laughed nervously. She had never wrote so much to him in the whole time they had been penpals, or even when they had been capturing the clow cards back down in Japan. But there had to be an explanation to it, either she was happy to here from him and had to inform him on the latest events in her life, either that or four pages on how much she HATED him and never ever wanted to hear from him again. Ever.  
  
Then again, Sakura Kinomoto was always willing to forgive, now wasn't she?  
  
'Syaoran--  
  
Wow! It's so nice to know that someone keeps what I write. I can't believe that you even bothered to write me, again, after all this time. Exspecially after what happened.. I'm pretty sure that you know exactly what I'm talking about. But then again, I'm not willing to hold it against you. Life goes on, right? Yeah, of course it does.  
  
So, what do you mean by life is hard in Hong Kong? I guess things in Tomoeda are fine, as usual. Things are always fine, but nothing really has happened (interesting) since the card capturing, unless you're really interested in what I consider "interesting." Well.. Come to think of it, a few things have happened, and I'm going to inform you wether or not you like it or not! First off.. Tomoyo moved. Yup. She did. It's amazing how that could happen. You want to know where she moved to? It's what I least thought of! I couldn't believe she did, but she went to England! Can you believe that? It drove me insane! Sure, a different town I can handle but a different continent?! I cried for weeks! There went my best friend! But, there's always a bright side to things, I guess. She may of moved but, of course, we have kept in close contact (unlike you and me.), and she tells me all the stuff that has been happening in England, which is pretty cool. She thinks I would love it there.  
  
And you know what?! Touya--'  
  
He laughed. The rest of the letter was like that, telling all her stories of what had been happening in Tomoeda. Half of him missed being there. He missed all the events that would of been so much fun to be in (except for Tomoyo's moving to England, of course.). She had even commented on how she wished they were there. She said she wished that they were living in Tomoeda, so she could see Meiling cling onto Syaoran like old times (She had even added a "It's just so kawaii when you think of it! Aha.. You should of seen your face when she did that when we were kids! Looking back on it, it had to be the cutest most funny thing I've seen!"). She ended in the comment: "what is wrong with Meiling, Syaoran?"  
  
His heart broke. Damnit. Why'd he include that Meiling was seeing a therapist?! What the hell would Meiling say if he had just blabbed that out into Sakura Kinomoto (her enemy, at one time in the past.), and then Meiling had decided to start writing to Sakura, and in a reply, she would find herself reading Sakura's delicate writing, which would say, "what's wrong, Meiling? Syaoran told me you were seeing a therapist.." Of course, Meiling would flip out on him.  
  
He stared at those words, written in pink ink. Shimatta! 'KAMI-SAMA! SYAORAN LI YOU BAKA!' (Yes, he found himself yelling at himself, silently, in Japanese.)  
  
The door of the passangers side opened, and Meiling slid herself into the seat beside Syaoran, and smiled. She blinked, noticing the papers in his hand--  
  
"HEY. You know what? I've got to use the restroom--" And that moment, before she could snatch Sakura's letter out of his hand, he had pulled himself out of the car and was walking back into th building. Meiling moaned, and followed (running) and grabbed his shoulder before he could even leave the parking lot. He stopped instantly, stumbling from the sudden jerk of his left shoulder. She snatched the paper on top of the four paper stack, and smiled.  
  
"From Sakura Kinomoto." She smiled, reading down the last page. She stopped moving completely, and her smile disapeared in an instant. She looked up at Syaoran, and back at the page.  
  
"I can explain, Mei--" She pulled her right hand up and slapped Syaoran before he could ever finishing saying her name. Hard. As hard as she could, infact, leaving a red print of her right hand on his cheek. Crumbled the paper and threw it back at him, taking in a deep breath, exhaling slowly, and turning, walking back to the car.  
  
He pulled his hand up against his cheek, instantly after the crumbled last page of Sakura's letter was thrown back at him. There was a stinging sensation on his cheek now, sending pain through him. Damn.. She really could hit him hard when she tried to. He sighed quietly and watched her walk off.  
  
"Mei!"  
  
She stopped, turned around, and flashed him the middle finger, turned and walked fast toward the car.  
  
-----  
  
After Note:  
i ADORE this chapter because.. I don't know how to describe it. (Hey, Jeremy, it seems like something Meiling would do if Syaoran pissed her off, hm? F'course, if it was before they were all friends again after that incident.) 


	15. Arguing

Trying to Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
  
I feel bad for Syaoran for being slapped by Meiling, but I also feel so bad for Meiling because he told sakura about her problems and how she was seeing a therapist. Aw.. the poor couple, hai?  
  
-----  
Chapter Fifteen: Arguing.  
-----  
  
Syaoran tossed his head back and groaned loudly, thinking of how this truely shouldn't be such a big deal, considering that Meiling and Sakura weren't really enemies anymore. He stared, and then finally dashed off after her, making it to the driver's side of the car before she did, considering that Meiling had been walking. She gave him a glare and walked off to the other side of the car, opening it and taking a seat, and putting on her seat belt.  
  
"I should of just drove off without you." She nudged her head toward the ignition, were the keys had been. Quietly, Syaoran took his seat, ignored Meiling's comment, put on his seat belt and started the car. Meiling crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head lightly and watched everything move around her, outside the window of the car, while Syaoran drove off.  
  
There had been silence for a few minutes, while Syaoran had been sorting things out in his mind. He had been the one to break it, and bring up the topic again. "I don't see why you should be so mad at me, Meiling." She laughed. He ignored it and continued. "It's not like you and Sakura are enemies anymore."  
  
"I DON'T NEED THE WHOLE GODDAMN TOWN OF TOMOEDA TO KNOW ABOUT MY PROBLEMS, SYAORAN LI." He winced at her naming him with his last name. "Knowing Kinomoto," she had now switched from using Sakura's first name, to her last name. It was obvious that she was just.. burning with rage. "She'll probably tell the whole fucking--" Syaoran winced again. "town that Meiling has a problem and needs to see a therapist, Li." He was in for it, now wasn't he?  
  
Either if Meiling was mad at him, he couldn't help but yell back. Not one person was ever able to walk all over him like that. "FOR GOD'S SAKE, MEILING, I DIDN'T TELL HER YOU WERE PREGNANT AND SLITTING YOUR WRISTS!"  
  
"Then what the hell are you going to tell her? Hm, smart one? Lie? Syaoran Li lying," she chuckled. "That'll be a change, now won't it?"  
  
Twenty more minutes of yelling has passed before Syaoran had finally pulled the car into the driveway with a sudden jerk. Meiling had finally pushed one button too many, and Syaoran, not able to watch his mouth, had shouted what had first appeared in his mind.  
  
"Atleast I'm smart enough to not go blabbing other peoples problems to some girl who'll probably tell everyone and then the whole town will know," Meiling had hissed quietly.  
  
"You know what?" Syaoran turned the key the opposite way so it was now off. "Atleast, if I were a girl and pregnant, I would actually be able to handle the damn situation, instead of trying to get everyone's attention by slitting my wrists." He said this without looking at her, and coldly, with no emotion was so ever.  
  
She burst into tears and struggled to unbuckle her seatbelt, finally doing so, and opening the door, and looking at him, her tears dampening her face within seconds. "I HATE YOU!" She screamed at him. "I HATE YOU! I SWEAR TO HELL, I HATE YOU!" She slammed the door as hard as she could and ran to the front door, pulling out her own set of keys and unlocking the door. She looked at the car one more time before entering. "GO TO HELL, LI!" SLAM. She ran down the hallway, to the bathroom and slammed that door as well, and locked it, leaning her back against the wall and sobbing hysterically, slipping down 'til she was now on her bottom, trembling, trying to calm herself down.  
  
-----  
  
After Note:  
Aw. ;_; Poor Meiling.. This was short.. I know. e___x Stay tuned for chapter sixteen. 


	16. Razor

Trying to Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao  
  
-----  
Chapter Sixteen: Razor.  
------  
  
"GODDAMNIT!" Syaoran curled his right hand into a fist and jabbed it against the center of the steering wheel, the car now releasing a dead F sharp note. It stopped, and repeated as Syaoran continued to smack his fist against the steering wheel. He shook his head and bit his lip, placing his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands, running his fingers through his own strands of hair. Sigh.  
  
'Why'd you have to be such a such a jerk to her?!"  
  
-----  
  
She continued to sob, rubbing her hands against her eyes, trying to stop the tears from flowing. Of course, they would not stop.  
  
'You must of heard wrong, Syaoran wouldn't of said that to you.' She told herself silently. She stopped everything when she heard the honk to the car being blasted repeatedly and stood, glancing about the darkened room. Quietly, she turned and pushs the light switch, letting the lightbulbs let light flow into the room.  
  
She looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were stained pink from crying, the area around them just as pink and damp. Her nose was running and she could even notice the soft tremble going through her. She looked away and started crying some more. 'Maybe he meant every word.' That cold voice (it couldn't be her, she had already come to the conclusion it was some voice that only she could hear, because she couldn't reconize it as her own.) reminded her. She turned her back toward the mirror and crossed her arms over herself.  
  
"Shut up," she hissed to no one. Twisting her body uneasily and letting her hands drop from around her before bringing them back up and covering her face, sobbing more. "Just shut up! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!" She screamed at nothing.  
  
'Denial. Tsk tsk, Meiling, I thought you could realize the truth when it was infront of you.'  
  
She shook her head. "Stop it!" She looked around frantically for something to stop the damn voices she was hearing, and turned toward the sink, rummaging through the cabnit. She stopped, and stared at the item between everything else. Silver. Three blades. If the voies wouldn't stop, she would just make sure she couldn't hear anymore. She'd make sure she didn't have to see Syaoran again.  
  
She would make sure that it would all end. That ALL of it would end. The throat covered in blood dripping down to her shirt and staining it. Her throat, that would be the destination, no more wrist. She grabbed the handle of the razor and pulled it up, then switching off the lights so she wouldn't have to watch herself kill herself. She moved her head back and pulled the razor to it's place--  
  
"MEILING!" There was a slam against the door, causing a scream to rise inside the bathroom. Startled she dropped the razor, and stopped moving instantly, trembling again and crying. The knob to the bathroom door was now being turned frantically, and the door shaking. She pushed her back against the door and slid down, her shirt accidently snagging against the lock and turning it.. She slid to the ground, crying again.  
  
The knob of the door turned completely and she could feel him trying to open the door. Quietly, ignoring the razor a few feet away form her, she pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them and placed her forehead against her knees, rocking side to side, sobbing aloud, 'til Syaoran was able to push the door completely opened.  
  
He looked at her, at the razor that was a few feet from her. Sighing with relief he realized that there was no blood in sight. He bent down and placed an arm under the backside of her knee and around her back and pulled her up, amazed that she wasn't screaming in protest and smacking him or anything of the sort. Standing, he held her and let her cry and soak his shirt and hers and brought her to their bedroom, sitting down, leaning against one of the pillows, and her laying his lap.  
  
He hugged her, feeling terrible to the point that he was about to silently cry, and whispered an apology to her atleast a million times before she was beginning to calm down.  
  
"I hate you," she said through gasps for breath, trying to convince her body to get away from him, but finding the task impossible. She wanted someone to comfort her about all this, and if Syaoran was going to be the only one that was willing, she would let him. And anyway, she was enjoying the fact that he was truly sorry, and was loving that he was embracing her at the moment. But still, she couldn't help but hate him for that moment being.  
  
"I hate you so much," she said again. Syaoran ignored her and held her against him, thinking that she was only saying this because there was nothing else to say. He had a feeling that she would forgive him once he had explained.  
  
"I didn't mean to say that—" Meiling began to cry hysterically again, loudly, at that remark. Again, she was tempted to get up and leave him there.  
  
"Stop talking." She finally said, through cries, and shook her head. "Don't talk, please." She tried to sort things out after he nodded his head and the room was being filled with silence.  
  
Should she hate him?  
  
It was obvious he didn't mean to say that. Anyway, Syaoran had always been competitive, this was nothing new. She couldn't expect him to just sit there and let herself scream at him. So, should she.. hate.. him? 


	17. Being Cold, and Realizations

Trying to Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
  
This story will probably not end until after chapter 20. ._.;  
  
----------  
Chapter Seventeen: Being cold, and Realizations.  
----------  
  
Of course she should hate him. Why shouldn't she? What kind of person would brush of something like that? Maybe someone, but the majority wouldn't take it, now would they? The fact that she truly loved him was all was keeping her from hating his guts. She sighed. Nothing made sense, each side of the argument had it's points and it's downfalls, so how could she solve it?  
  
'Atleast, if I were a girl and pregnant, I would actually be able to handle the damn situation, instead of trying to get everyone's attention by slitting my wrists.' There was that damned voice repeating Syaoran's word. She couldn't take it anymore. Everything the "voices" in her head were saying was driving her insane. Literally.  
  
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She hissed at no one. (or can you consider the voices in your head someone?) Startled, Syaoran stared at her blankly. She was still crying and looked at him.  
  
"Go away, Syaoran," finally she directed the sentence toward him, and he gave her an uneasy look, wondering if he has just heard what he thought he did? She repeated the sentence again, putting force into it so it drowned the hurt which was previously engulfing her sentences. She moved so he could and sat at the edge of the bed, waiting for Syaoran to leave her alone finally.  
  
And he did, and without questions. He wasn't going to make this harder then it already was, and who knew? Maybe if he did protest, it would make her hate him more.. well.. if she currently hated him right now for what he had said to her.  
  
-----  
  
Syaoran walked to the kitchen, and to one of the cabnits, pulling out one of the packs of paper and a pen, green in colour, and set himself down at the table. Silently, he pulled out one of the papers and began to write without thinking.  
  
'Dear Sakura,  
  
Ignore what I said about Meiling, she's just been having a bad time lately. I'll explain later, or let her do it on her own will. Do me a favor, and let's just drop the whole subject completely. Alright? Thanks.  
  
So, Tomoyo moved to England? That's kind of weird, but I guess you couldn't expect her to stay in Tomoeda forever. It never seems to happen. First, I move back to China with Meiling, and then Tomoyo moved to England. It's funny, in a way. Anyone else we knew left?  
  
What is with me? I never find anything to talk about. I feel so bad for you, considering you had/have a penpal who probably isn't very interesting when it comes to writing letters. I'd babble on random things, but that's not like me (obviously, you know that, right?). Er.. I don't know. Maybe I should just let you do all the writing for the both of us. Write back to me whenever you can, and tell everyone that I say hello.  
  
Sincerely,  
Syaoran Li'  
  
Silently he grabbed one of the letters and folded the paper, fitting it into the envelope neatly. He scribbled Sakura's address in the center of the envelope and then his and Meiling's at the top left corner.  
  
"What'd you say about me this time?" Meiling said without looking at him, walking to the cabnit and grabbing a glass from it. She filled it with water and drank it slowly. Syaoran took a side glance at her, ignoring her question.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
"Peachy keen," she replied sarcastically. She sighed and leaned against the counter, wrapping an arm around her waist and taking another sip of her water. She looked at Syaoran, giving him a puzzled look. "What?"  
  
"You are really mad at me, aren't you?" Meiling turned away from him, setting her glass in the sink, turning the water on, and watching it splash against the glass, running down it until it would sit the sink and flow into the drain. She ran her hand under the water and winced realizing how cold it was.  
  
And realizing how cold she was being. She stared at the water for a few more seconds before taking a glance back at Syaoran. She pressed the handle down and the water slowly stopped flowing.  
  
"Do you want my honest responce?" She waited. He nodded lightly. "I am and I'm not. I just need something or someone to take this all out on." He sighed.  
  
"I'll give you some time." He stood, not waiting for her responce, and walking silently to the door. He set his hand on the knob and turned it, walking outside and toward the mailbox. He set the letter in it and sat down at the curb.  
  
---------  
  
She turned the water on again in the sink, and let some spill in her hands, pulling it to her face and splashing it into her face. She let the water drip before wiping her eyes, and sighing slightly. "You don't hate him." She finally told herself, knowing that it was true. No fight they had ever had had made her ever truly hate him. So, what made this different?  
  
She looked around, trying to figure out how to calm down. Quietly, she stepped into the middle of the kitchen, shut her eyes and let her arms drop at her side. She screamed at the top of her lungs for a few seconds, until her throat her and stopped. She smiled.  
  
There was a slam from the front door. Syaoran stared at Meiling. "What happened?"  
  
"I love you!" She ran and hugged him. Syaoran looked at the girl embracing him and for a moment wondered if this was the same Meiling he was just arguing with just a little bit ago. It didn't matter, now. He hugged her back, and smiled.  
  
---------  
  
After Note:  
Rofl. The next chapter will probably skip a few weeks or months. Stay tuned. 


	18. A Baby's Destiny

Trying to Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
I think maybe 3-4 more chapters at the most before this fiction is complete!  
  
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Chapter Eighteen: A Baby's Destiny  
----------  
  
Meiling had set herself in her usual seat in Eriol Hiiragizawa's office, feeling a bit higher in spirits then she had been since she had found out she was pregnant. The girl had been smiling, a true smile, had dressed herself to look very nice and like her teenage self, and had refused to let anything ruin her attitude. It was as if she was fourteen again.  
  
"Guess what?" Meiling said, before Eriol could even pull out his notebook and jot down the date and her name, as he always did, in his notebook. He smiled, realizing what type of mood she was in, and took a glance at her. "You remember that fight I told you about over the phone a few days ago? The one where I was telling him that I hated him?"  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"We fixed it. Amazing, I think," she began to lean back in her seat and stare out the window, watching the cloud slowly shift over the sun ever few moments. "it's pretty amazing that we are able to fix those type of things, given the situation we are both in."  
  
"I think so, too." He had opened the notebook and began to write down the date once again, as he did every session that Meiling was in to talk to him, which was atleast once every week. She turned her head slightly and looked at Eriol.  
  
"And guess what else?" She said. Eriol waited for her to continue. "I know what I'm going to do with this child. Do you want to guess?" There was a moment, while Eriol thought about what she was going to do with her baby. She interupted him before he could even get five seconds to thinking time to himself. "I'm not going to keep it, but I'm not going to kill it. I want to give it to a good family, that will take care of it. It's just the family that I'm unsure about. The thing is I want to be able to trust them."  
  
"That's quite normal. Seems you care about your baby enough to give it a good family. You're making such progress. I'm going to guess that you want to give it to someone who could give it a better life than you could? Considering you are only nineteen, as you told me in the beginning."  
  
"Yes, and no. I think that if Syaoran and I tried we could give it a wonderful life. I'm not ready to give up my freedom, though. I thought about keeping it for ourself, but.. I don't know.. It's kind of hard to explain." Yes, she couldn't even put the peices together in her mind. She wanted the child, but didn't because of all the pain it caused her. That seemed to make the most sense in her mind, but it didn't quite fit into why she wasn't going to keep it for herself.  
  
Eriol nodded. "Have you told Syaoran yet?" She shook her head a moment after his question was said aloud. "Ah, all right. You should, considering he is the baby's father. And anyway, he's going to have to agree with your choice before you can do anything."  
  
"I know. I'm sure he will agree, though, considering he told me anything was okay, better, than having abortion. He said a while back that if I didn't want to keep it, it was okay with him. I think I just need to be reassured."  
  
----------  
  
Syaoran grabbed his hand in hers and led her outside toward the car. "How'd it go?"  
  
"Fine. I told Eriol what I was going to do with our baby, well, atleast what I'd want to do with it," she said, taking a glance down at her belly, which wasn't exactly thin anymore. Syaoran looked straight ahead, waiting for her to continue. "I want to give it to another family."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Would you think I'm strange if I told you who I wanted to give it to? If she said yes, that is. I don't know if she will agree, though." Syaoran shook his head, and dropped her hand, opening the door for her, and then shutting it before walking over to his own side.  
  
Meiling coughed nervously as she put her seatbelt on and stared down at her feet, and began to twiddle her thumbs. "Sakura," she whispered. That was who she wanted their baby to go to. It made sense in her mind. Sakura had lost a lot of people. Tomoyo, for example. Syaoran, for another one. She trusted the girl, and thought that Sakura could take care of the baby, if she accepted it.  
  
"What?" Syaoran stopped moving, and stared at Meiling. She nodded, avoiding eye contact with him. She was feeling stupid, but that was the only person she seemed she could trust with her child.  
  
"Sakura."  
  
"You're kidding, right? I mean, come on? Sakura?"  
  
"I'm not kidding. Yes, Sakura." There was a moment of silence while Syaoran began to think it over. He couldn't think of someone else better to take care of the child, except for himself and Mei, of course, but if this was what she wanted -- okay. Hard thing to agree with, but he figured that out of all the things that Meiling had to go through, and despite how much he wanted to keep it, he would let her decide how it would come out. After all, she could always change her mind.  
  
"You're sure?"  
  
"Yes. Trust me, okay?"  
  
"M'hm."  
  
----------  
Afternote:  
  
oh my god. guess what? There will be exactly 2 more chapters. I'm going to skip months and more straight to our little date of birth. I would rather not describe that, so it'll be skipped.. most of it. The last chapter will be short, but I'm sure this fic will end nicely.  
I love you, my reviews. ;D! 


	19. Mother Dearest

Trying to Cheat Fate:  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
Sorry, everyone. Realization hit when I realized there is some more things I need to add before I can completely finish 'trying to cheat fate', which requires.. 3 more chapters after this one. I did plan most of the chapters, though.. and the titles are posted on my biography.  
  
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Chapter Nineteen: Mother Dearest  
----------  
  
It was nine o'clock when Meiling had pulled the phone from it's reciever, nervously dialing in a phone number, and pressing it to her ear to listen to it's dull ring. It lasted only a few, four rings, if you must, until a female voice had answered.  
  
It had been a long time since Syaoran's and Meiling's fight, and things had finally began to come to certain conclusions. The baby was suposed to be a girl, perfectly healthy, as the doctors had told her. They had came in contact with Sakura, and she had agreed to be the mother. She would arrive in Hong Kong in two weeks, and be staying with Syaoran and Meiling.  
  
"Mother?"  
  
Syaoran had been quietly unaware of Meiling's phone call to her mother, and had been sitting in the other room with his headphones on, quietly reading with the lamp on the nightstand on, emitting light for only a few feet, while the rest was gulped down in darkness.  
  
"May I ask who is calling?" One of the maid's had asked. Meiling sighed. She wished they would reconize her voice, and not have to ask the same dulling question every time she had called for her mother (which was not very often.)  
  
"Meiling Li. May I speak to my mother?"  
  
"Hold."  
  
"Mei-Mei!" Her mother said, most obviously cheerful to hear from her daughter. Meiling laughed fakly and began to twirl the cord around her fingers. She bit her bottom lip lightly and tried to hold it all in, wondering what would happen when she told her.  
  
"Mama, I've got," she paused. "some news for you."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
She sat down, and shut eyes, forcing herself to say it. She had to, anyway, what if her mother found out sometime after the birth? What would she do then? "I'm pregnant," all the breath in the room, and on the other line it seemed like everyone stopped. "I've been pregnant for almost eight months."  
  
"Meiling! What the hell were you thinking?!" A tear silently fell from her eyes. As of the moment, Meiling was asking herself why she was crying when she knew her mother was going to yell and be upset about it all, exspecially since how long she had waited.  
  
"I'm sorry, mama," she whispered.  
  
"And why did you wait so long to tell me?! Meiling Li, I'm so disapointed in you! How could you let yourself do it?!" She cringed at the yelling, wondering why her mother wasn't even considering how she was feeling over all this. But who knew, maybe she was considering how she felt, and didn't even care? It was, after all, possible. How could it not be? After all the things she had to go through during this, this was possible, too.  
  
"It just happened--"  
  
"With who?!" She was starting to let anger overthrow herself. What was her mom assuming? That she was a prostitute? After all, her mom and Syaoran's mom had planned for Syaoran and herself to be together, right?  
  
"Who do you think, Mother? I'm not a prostitute! You arranged for me and Syaoran to be together, who else do you think?!"  
  
"Don't you yell at me!"  
  
"I'm not a child anymore, and I'm not living under your house! I'll do as I please!"  
  
"That does not give you the right!"  
  
"God! I don't even know why I decided to tell you!" Meiling screamed. Syaoran, in the other room, had taken his headphones off and started to listen to Meiling yelling at someone over the phone.  
  
Her mother paused, bringing her tone down once again. "Is Xiaolang the father?"  
  
Meiling brought her tone done as well, which was most to her dislike. Her mother deserved to be yelled at, and at the moment, she was still so mad that she could of slammed the phone back down on the reciever, but she had remembered that she needed to tell her that the baby was going to be handed to a different family.  
  
"Yes, he is."  
  
Meanwhile, in the other room, Syaoran had shut his book and walked down the hallway to another room that had a phone, and quietly listened to the two girls conversation. Suprisingly enough, he had noticed that she was talking and yelling at her mother.  
  
"What were you thinking?!" Meiling's mother had again brought her tone up once again. "If you're so far in, that must mean you had sex when you were eighteen? How could you let Xiaolang do something like that to you? It would be understandable if it was after your marriage, but when you are eighteen? You ruined you're life doing so!"  
  
She paused. Her mother had a point. She had ruined her life, and she had almost killed herself over it, as well. Maybe after she was married, if would of been easier on her. She sighed, and for the first time, realized how truthful her mother was being with her. "It just happened," she finally managed to say, softly. She was about to cry once again.  
  
"You're stronger than that! Why couldn't you of told Xiaolang you didn't want it?" She couldn't of stopped him. 'You wanted it, Meiling. You never thought of the consequence, that's why you didn't mind it happening.'  
  
"I'm sorry," she said, again. "I didn't think of what would happen--"  
  
"That's right! You didn't think!" Her mother scolded. Syaoran was beginning to be angry, listening his aunt blame the whole factor on Meiling, when in truth, it was his fault as well. He could understand her being mad, but continuing on and on after what the two had gone through? He wouldn't let Meiling go through this as well.  
  
"You shouldn't yell at her. She's been through too much in the past months to be able to handle it." He paused. "She just recently got over the problem."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Syaoran?" Meiling said, her voice trembling. "What are you doing?"  
  
"You'll be in equal amount of trouble with your mother finds out, Xiaolang, I suggest you don't bring yourself any deeper." She said, her voice cold and yet emotionless. Syaoran shook his head, lightly, and sighed.  
  
"Maybe if you only knew what both of us have gone through, exspecially Meiling, you'd be empathetic toward your daughter. You're so heartless." He set the phone down and walked toward the kitchen, where Meiling was sitting, the phone pressed against her ear. He wrapped his arms around her, while she shut her eyes and let tears fall, listening while her mother's voice started up again, stating how she was disapointed in Meiling and such.  
  
"I hate you," she whispered to her mother, and hung up.  
  
"Don't listen to her, Mei, she doesn't understand. You don't need to waste tears on her. Just ignore her." He hugged her tighter, while she quietly let his words sink in, while letting her tears silently flow.  
  
"Thank you," she said.  
  
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Author's Note:  
A last hint of angst. Tada. I intend for the rest of this fiction to be very angst-less, meaning no more depression. Stay tuned, because the ending is so very near, and I want opinions.  
  
Again, read and review. Thanks! 


	20. Is This The End?

Trying to Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
This can basically be summed up as the last chapter, since the next one will be.. very very short..  
  
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Chapter Twenty: Is This The End..?  
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He sighed. This was it, wasn't it? Meiling, Sakura, and himself had been sitting in the same medical room for a while now. Everything was white and pale blue, with a window that had the blinds closed, and the white door shut to bloke out the noise. It had been an hour after Meiling had given birth to the child, and it was currently being cleaned up and placed in some clothes (white).   
  
Despite everything, the baby was perfectly healthy. 7 1/2 pounds, 21 inches long, blood type B, female. It had not been named yet, but Sakura had aloud for Meiling to name it before giving it up to her. The only thing that would change would be the last name. Instead of Li, it would be Kinomoto. Maybe the child's name would be changed to be more Japanese-ish, nickname, not completely changed. But who knew? They might keep it the way it was. That's how it was for Meiling's name, right?  
  
He stared at the clock, watching the seconds slowly tick by. It had reminded him of the times he would sit out in the hallway while Meiling talked to Eriol. Time seemed to be slowing, but in reality it was at it's normal speed, unless the clock was broken, which it wasn't.  
  
"Syaoran?" Sakura said, tapping his shoulder. He sat up straight and looked over at Sakura, who was sitting on the left side of him. "Are you alright?" He nodded.  
  
So, this was the end, wasn't it? Once the baby was brought back, Meiling would name it, and for the time before they gave it to Sakura Kinomoto, it would be considered Meiling Li's and Syaoran Li's daughter. Of course, after it was given to Sakura, Syaoran and Meiling would still be the true parents, but it would not be the same. It never would be, would it?  
  
Of course, it wouldn't. That was their first child they were giving to their friend. First. If they ever had another child, which Syaoran doubted would happen, it would still be considered the second one. Never the first. The first would be gone. Forever more.  
  
"Your father is okay with this?" Syaoran asked, finally, breaking the uneasy silence in the pale room. She smiled, and nodded.  
  
"What are you going to name her?" Sakura asked back. Syaoran took a glance over at Meiling, who was sleeping peacfully in her bed. He looked back at Sakura, and for a moment, wondered for himself what the name would be.  
  
"It is Meiling's choice. She already has one picked out, and told me she wouldn't tell me until the day it was born." The day it was born, was obviously, today. December 1st, 2002 was her birthday. Sakura nodded.  
  
She took a glance at Meiling. "You're so nice to her," she said. He took a side glance at Sakura, while she continued to watch Meiling breath in and out. "Letting her give the child to me. Syaoran, I'm sure you wanted to keep the child."  
  
"I--"  
  
"Letting her choose the baby's name." She paused. "She's lucky to have someone like you, Syaoran. I think she is, really. After the situation we put her through, by us going out, I think she deserves to have you."  
  
"She didn't deserve to go through the depression that she did, with this child." Sakura nodded. Syaoran took a glance at Sakura. "I wish she could of put it on someone who could of handled the situation. I think she could of handled this if she didn't learn about suicide and slitting her wrists."  
  
Sakura took a glance down. "They should of had Health classes at school. Maybe it would of stopped this."  
  
"Maybe."  
  
The door opened, and one of the nurses had walked in, carrying the small, fragile, baby in her arms. It was wrapped in a white blanket, so most of it's body was not seen. It was sleeping, just like it's mother.  
  
Syaoran stood, and walked over to the nurse and took it in his own arms. The nurse told him that she would be back soon, and left the room. Sakura had then stood and walked over to Syaoran, while he had silently tapped Meiling until she woke up.  
  
"Here," he said, handing the child to Meiling, who smiled, and held it. "Do you want to tell us the name, Mei?"  
  
She took a glance at Syaoran, and smiled. "Okay. I was looking one time in one of the books Eriol had, which had lots of chinese baby names. There was just one name that kind of.. popped up. I think it'll be a good one." She looked at the baby in her arms. "Xi-xi."  
  
Sakura squeeled. "How cute!"  
  
"Xi-xi Li," Syaoran said, while the nurse had finally came back in the room. She took a seat, and pulled it over to Meiling's bed, and asked for the child's name. Syaoran repeated it, and she nodded, smiling, writing the name down on the sheet of paper.  
  
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"It all ends here," Syaoran said. Meiling nodded. It was another three hours after they had named the child, and they had still been stuck inside the same white and blue room, with the window that had the blinds shut, and the door shut to keep the noise out.  
  
The only difference was a doctor was with them.  
  
Silently, Meiling kissed the baby on the cheek, and whispered, "I love you." Before handing the child to Syaoran, who did the same thing. He then handed the baby to Sakura.  
  
"Are you sure, Ms. Li?" The doctor said, his clipboard in his arms, and his pen grasped between his fingers. Meiling looked at Syaoran, and nodded. The doctor nodded, and began to write, before handing the paper to Sakura.  
  
The baby was hers now. This was the end of the it, wasn't it?  
  
"Take care of her, Sakura," Syaoran said, hugging Sakura. He made sure not to hurt the child. Meiling nodded, as Sakurs gave the baby to Syaoran, and walked over and hugged Meiling as well.  
  
"I will. You two keep in contact with me, I'll be informing you on Xi-xi, and if you don't, I'll hunt you down, personally." Sakura said, the couple smiled.  
  
"Thanks, Kinomoto," Meiling said, rolling her eyes. "That's what we need, to be hunted down." Sakura chuckled.  
  
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Afternote:  
The next chapter is short. I hope you enjoy this. 


	21. A New Beginning

Trying to Cheat Fate  
By: Xiao  
  
Author's Note:  
I love you, my reviewers. :DD  
  
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Chapter Twenty*One: A New Beginning.  
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A week later, Meiling had been released from the hospital, and Sakura had taking her flight back to Tomoeda, Japan.  
  
The time was nearly nine o'clock, and Meiling and Syaoran had just finished playing a game of speed, and the two had been quietly cuddled against eachother on the couch, while the TV had been on.  
  
"Syaoran?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Do you want to try this again?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Meiling grabbed the remote and pressed the power button, so that the screen went blank. Now, the room was completely black, and the two could barely make out the outline of eachother. "Last time it was unexpected. I want to try again. We'll say it's a new beginning? You willing?"  
  
Syaoran paused. "Of course." He kissed her. She giggled.  
  
"I love you."  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
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Afternote:  
  
It's finished. ::sob.:: trying to cheat fate is done. it's over! IT'S FINALLY OVER! Please, review! And tell me if I should make a sequel or a sidestory on Sakura and Xi-xi.  
  
Thank you so much to all my reviewers. You guys are great. :D 


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